Relationships are like a dance – it’s always fascinating to take a look at the posturing that we all do, the dancing around subjects, and the way we engage in patterns that can be both enriching and destructive. My guest in this episode, Dr. Harriet Lerner is one of our most respected voices in communication, particularly the “how-tos” of navigating the swamps and quicksands of difficult relationships. She is the author of 12 books, including The New York Times bestsellers, The Dance of Anger and The Dance of Fear. It is my pleasure to take a deep dive here with Dr. Lerner, talking about developing self-awareness and listening and talking skills, which are so important to cultivate in any relationship. As you’ll hear, Harriet points out that although change is difficult, a small change on the part of one partner to listen to what you don’t want to hear with an open heart and acknowledge the experience and the desire of your partner can make all the difference. So, please give this interview your undivided attention, because it will profoundly impact the lives of the people you love the most.
I’ve titled this episode, “The Narcissists are Among You” for a reason. If it sounds scary, like the zombies or the vampires are coming—well, it’s kind of scary. The kind of vampires we’re talking about are emotional vampires.
It seems the term narcissism is so much in the lexicon these days, not because narcissism is something new, but because of the increased awareness and knowledge sharing. And it’s sad to say, but narcissism is rampant throughout our society.
My guest today is one of the world-leading experts on narcissism, Dr. Ramani Durvasula. Ramani is a psychologist, professor, author and speaker. Her most recent book, "Don't You Know Who I Am?": How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility, provides a deep insight on how narcissism is impacting all of us, what it is, and what we can do about it. I think you’ll find this episode highly relevant, as chances are there is, or has been, a narcissist in your life – whether a boss, an employee, a teacher, a significant other—who has caused you trauma. It really is a fascinating area, and we got into what Dr. Durvasula calls the multifaceted stone of narcissism.
Once you get a handle on all the facets, you really understand all the big player themes in the world of mental health. We talked about how much of this disorder is genetic, and how much is born of early trauma. It’s really great to know that arming yourself with education on the subject and learning coping techniques can give you control over the situation. Check out this illuminating and empowering episode.
A decade ago, I was a train wreck. I was recently divorced. I was socially awkward. I didn’t know how to talk to women. In fact, I was terrified to do so. I looked like a computer nerd who never saw the sun. Yeah, I was downright unattractive. Thankfully, I went through a metamorphosis. And the two men who started me on that path of reinvention were Tony Robbins and Neil Strauss. How I got from there to where I am now was no small feat. Initially it was about mindset, then it was about physical transformation, but ultimately it was about spiritual growth. To say I am unrecognizable from my former self would be a huge understatement. So how does one go from socially awkward to awakened? Well, today’s guest is going to illuminate that for us. His insights just might change your life as they have with his students and clients. Sasha Daygame is a visionary, renegade dating coach, and spiritual seeker. Sasha is also the founder of the Infinite Man Summit. He began as a standup comedian at the age of 17 and several years later got into self improvement. In 2008, he started Sasha Dating Systems to help men overcome their anxiety, improve their charisma, and form fulfilling personal relationships. He has personally coached thousands of men across five continents, as well as creating a cult following via his YouTube channel with over 12 million views. More than just dating, Sasha’s teachings inspire men to create extraordinary lives by challenging societal and parental programming. In this episode, he and I talk about how you can break out of the matrix and start living powerfully and consciously. On with the show!
Is it possible that the conventional wisdom about networking is wrong? There's a lot of advice out there on the best ways to network, but how much of it really was based on scientific research? According to my guest for this episode number 203, David Burkus, investing time and energy into networking events and flashy business cards likely won't bring you the results you're looking for. Instead, he argues that the most valuable relationships are the ones you already have with the people you already know. David's book, Friend of a Friend, digs into cutting-edge science on human behavior to reveal some profound and counterintuitive insights into the most effective networking strategies. It's a great read, and it might just revolutionize the way you go about networking. David is a regular contributor to the Harvard Business Review, has delivered keynotes to leaders of Fortune 500 companies, and his TED talk has been viewed almost two million times. He’s also a guest on my Marketing Speak podcast episode number 135. If you're not a subscriber to Marketing Speak, by the way, you, my friend, are missing out. Please subscribe—and to this show, too, if you haven't already. If you have frustrations with networking in the past, stick around as David introduces a whole new approach that I predict will have massive benefits for your career or business.
I’ve been podcasting for four years and it feels like just yesterday that the first episode was published. As we wrap up Get Yourself Optimized’s 200th episode, I can’t help but look back and reflect on the last 100 guests who have graciously agreed to be on the show. It was such an honor interviewing some of the best experts, influencers, and trailblazers in the world of biohacking, business, and self-development. So many lessons learned and tips and tricks gained to live a highly optimized life. This special episode is hosted by my lovely wife, Orion Talmay, who happens to have her own wonderful podcast called The Stellar Life Podcast. Tune in as she and I discuss some of the best advice my guests have shared. And to my listeners, thank you for tuning in all these years. Cheers to 200 more amazing episodes!