AS Seen On

By: Stephan Spencer


Chris Steely
“The world we live in is full of division and uncertainty. As leaders in whatever capacity, our role is to unite those around us. “
Chris Steely

When your dad checks you into Alateen at 14 years old, you get a crash course in understanding that life, whether you like it or not, is full of intense challenges. How do you meet those challenges and transcend the experience, becoming the person you’re meant to be?

I’m really excited to have Chris Steely on as a guest to address these very questions. As a top-rated business facilitator, NCAA national rowing champion, U.S. Marine Corps Officer, inspirational author, and renowned global business coach, serving as one of Tony Robbins’ top international business consultants, Chris has an amazing life resume.

In today’s episode, Chris and I go spelunking into personal development and self-actualization. We talk about how the chaos and dysfunction he experienced as a child turned out to be a course-correcting gift that set him on a quest to discover himself. He talks about his grounding in martial arts as a way of being. It’s a fascinating spiritual deep dive into holistic objectivity, transcending victimization, and training your mind to change your perspective, which of course, all leads back to the Matrix! You’ll get a taste of why Chris has inspired and invigorated the lives of so many people.

So without any further ado, on with the show!

In this Episode

  • [02:13]Chris was asked to share how he got into coaching, speaking, and writing on human performance. He also shares the fundamental value he learned growing up.
  • [05:04]Chris reflects on what people need to unpack their identity and become self-actualized. He further discusses the concept of actualization, referring to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and suggesting that there may be a higher level beyond self-actualization.
  • [09:32]How can we define our core essence?
  • [15:53]Chris discusses his background in martial arts, in which he emphasizes the spiritual aspects of martial arts and how it has influenced his life, particularly the idea of energy management and using an opponent’s energy in one’s favor.
  • [20:34]Chris is asked what skillset, abilities, or knowledge he would want to download without going through courses or reading books.
  • [31:05]Chris explains the pivotal moment that prompted him to explore his spirituality and beliefs.
  • [34:36]Chris discusses embracing the unknown and how it can lead to societal growth and personal evolution. He notes the importance of transcending the desire for pleasure and realizing that pain can lead to personal growth.
  • [41:32]Chris talks about tapping into the unconscious mind to uncover genius and possibilities beyond our consensus reality.
  • [46:15]What are the effective processes for overcoming fear and achieving personal growth?

Jump to Links and Resources

Chris, it’s so great to have you on the show. 

It’s always good to hear how I’m described, Stephan. It’s good to get mirrors on ourselves, so I appreciate the introduction, sir. Thank you.

 Thank you. First, please share your origin story of how you got into this world of coaching, speaking, and writing. Why this particular niche on human performance? You probably didn’t start that way when you decided what you would be when you grew up.  

I was raised as a child in Northern Indiana, Midwestern corn-fed cornbread. Nobody locked their doors, so for the first 13 years of my life, I was taught to trust. 

Not corn-finished.

Not corn-finished. That’s correct. It’s funny because I talk about Indiana. It’s a great place to be from, and I think I grew up as an adult for various reasons, including climate, et cetera. But, then, at the tender age of a pubescent adolescent teenager, I moved down to my parents’ roots in Central Florida, and the pendulum swung the other way. 

I was subjected to bullying, went to four different junior highs and high schools at that relatively influential age, and I didn’t understand why people showed up the way they did and acted the way they did. So it was a social experiment, and little did I know at that age that it was designed for me to be able to step into a capacity that the rest of my life has been. So I call it my crusade and my journey.

Life is an ongoing dojo. We continue to spar against ourselves and against negative energies that try to prevent us from transforming into who we long to become. Click To Tweet

I excelled athletically, and that helped develop my character. I chose to go to a military boarding school when I was 16 because I didn’t appreciate the education I was getting in a public school. It made all the difference for me leading my peers at 16 and then launching into a kind of life and a career of leadership in various capacities and always tend toward leaning forward. 

I met Tony Robbins when I was 25 years old, I bought his Personal Power Program on cassette tape, and it gave me a perspective on taking life on and being courageous. I joined the Marine Corps, became a Marine Corps logistics officer, and went to war. It was my patriotic duty to serve, and it’s been that level of actualization ever since. Taking that with confidence, courage, commitment, and everything that is in the Marine Corps and everything I had been up until that point in my life.

Then just the private sector, corporate work, and feeling compelled to be an author and help to make a difference in people’s lives. A foundation that comes from that, of course, has to do with a family of origin. My parents raised me, and they did their best, unpacking that and understanding how and why I am also in that context. So it’s a long answer to your short question, but that’s the start of it. 

That’s great. When you look back on your childhood and think it was completely and perfectly designed for me, how did you come to that conclusion and who created it? 

That’s a good question. Suppose you want to get spiritual or existential. I designed it. 

I always do. 

“Trade your expectations for appreciation, and the world changes instantly.” – Tony Robbins.

I designed it, and at the same time, it was sculpted by my primary influencers, which were my parents, and the life I intended to live as a child was a life of dysfunction. I was raised by a couple of parents who did the best they could but didn’t know how to raise a child. Since then, lots of psychotherapy. 

A lot of people do, by the way.

That’s the thing. I think one of the things we need in life these days, Stephan, is a certification program to certify people to be parents because there isn’t one. My family’s origin story is a unique story of dysfunction and everything by design. As I look back on that, I was like, many people get crushed by their dysfunction as that manifests for the rest of their lives. My father checked me into AA meetings when I was 14 because he knew the impact that my mother’s alcoholism would have on my life.

Since then, I have loved the AA process, group work, and psychotherapy and unpacked my identity. If it weren’t for that relative chaos and dysfunction and everything that comes with that unique culture that I was raised in, and we’re all raised in unique cultures. I believe it’s my responsibility to understand that, realize why I am who I am, and return to my life. So it’s been a journey of unpacking that. 

I call it “spelunking,” going into the depths and exploring the catacombs of who I am. Thanks to that life by design, I’ve developed into a relatively self-actualized human. I’ve never done this life before as far as I’m consciously aware, and I’m doing the best I can as I push 60 in my life right now and learning so much about myself, especially over the past decade in relationships and things like that. It all stems from that initial life, as you say, by design, so thanks for the question. 

You mentioned self-actualization. Of course, I’m thinking about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. That’s the top of the pyramid. Do you think there is something even higher than self-actualization on the pyramid?

If you use Maslow’s model, it stops with that actualization.

That’s where it stops, but where does it stop in your mind or in your belief system?

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In that context, as a human being, as a physically sanctioned flesh and bone meat package, that is my actualization. It’s funny because you asked the question. You know me, and I’m more of a transformational guy, a transcendental guy, and I’ve explored some of the esoterics around not just who I am but why I am and what I am. I’m a purpose-driven leader driven toward fulfilling that purpose while I’m in this life.

A lot of that stems from what you don’t see. It’s beyond this human capacity. It’s funny because since you brought it up, it’s not necessarily self-actualization; it’s holistic actualization. I’m thinking about words to put around that, but it’s about holistically understanding the essence of who I am.

It goes beyond this human being and this human nature that I have to contend with every day of my life, as we all do, as we strive to be masters of whatever this human nature demands of us, as we deal with our family of origin, some scar us in life that has wired us to think a certain way, and as we focus on striving live from that space of being victorious as opposed to being a victim. 

We live in a world these days where victimization is just normal. People are blaming and making excuses. Being that courageous leader, that self-actualized that essence of actualization around psychologically, spiritually, and from a soul perspective, what I really am. It’s still an ongoing journey.

I think most people, when they are asked the question or if they’re ever even asked this question, who are you? The answer usually is a bunch of roles. “I’m a husband, and I’m a father, I’m a CEO, or founder, or entrepreneur. I’m a consultant. I’m a public speaker, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.” A whole bunch of roles. 

That doesn’t define you. Even your personality isn’t defined. I’m easygoing. I’m friendly and thoughtful and introspective, and interested. 

I am here to learn what I’m meant to learn from this life and influence others.

That’s not who you are. Those are behaviors and personality traits that you exhibit. Who are you at your core? How would you answer that question? Who are you?

In essence, I’m not from this place. I’m in this place, but I’m not. I am here to learn what I’m meant to learn from this life and influence others in the process based on how I understand myself to be this, that actualization of who I am. 

This essence, this “who I am,” which is again an essence, has got a purpose, and that purpose is to develop through education, inspiration, training, empowerment, and equipping business leaders specifically to understand why they’re doing what they’re doing and lead to their teams with honor, integrity, courage and an enlightened perspective. 

A lot of the answer that you gave is what you do. 

Exactly. I was just going to say that’s the vocation. It’s the application of that essence that makes the difference. As I am, I am a purpose-driven person, spirit and soul essence. It is conditioned every day of my life to be able to do what must be done to fulfill that objective.

I am something that you don’t see as you strip away this flesh-and-bone meat package with eyes, ears, nose, and everything because that’s not who I am. You strip away this personality that I’ve been given in order to be able to relate to you and to everybody else. That’s not who I am. Strip that away. 

What you have left is what I really am, which frankly is practically indescribable. It’s an essence. It’s energy. It’s a presence. The question is kind of hard to answer, frankly.

You didn’t come on the show to get easy questions.

That’s one of the things I like about you, man. We need more of this. 

I surround myself with words and images that remind me of what and who I really am.

That’s awesome. You have some things there on your wall. Some Tony Robbins quotes and things like that. What’s on your wall? 

One of the things about me is I understand my personality style and the way I lead the way, I learn, and I surround myself with words and images that remind me of what and who I really am. As I look at you, there’s a candle burning, and in front of the candle is a note reminding me to slow down, to be calm, to breathe and focus on that breath awareness and to stay centered. 

Those four words are right in front of me right now, always in front of me, because it’s so easy not to be conscious and aware of those components. Then over here, I’ve got perspectives on martial arts around length, width, and depth if you understand those concepts when you’re in the dojo. Having holistic awareness in that capacity. 

Then over on this wall, it’s a tapestry, a collage of work that I’ve done. Again, I got to tour with Tony Robbins for about four years. I was one of his top business consultants. From that, I learned so much about not just myself but human and business nature as I changed my expectations into appreciation as we talked about which is right in front of me. 

Change your expectations into appreciation, and the whole world changes. 

That’s just fundamental, and I learned that 20 years ago. The imperative is the application as we go through life. I’ve got mentors and gurus in my life that I love to follow and constantly remind me of things that are often forgotten because we all go through a kind of randori. There’s the concept of martial arts of randori, where energy is being thrown at us consistently from so many directions. It’s important as masters to stay grounded and stay centered in that randori. 

Unless we remind ourselves to do that, the flow of life on a day-to-day basis could take us away. Based on my experience, it has been for me in the past. Using the metaphor of mastery and martial arts, every black belt goes into the dojo with the beginner’s mind based on the foundational tenets of being centered, calming, and breathing. 

Anyway, I surround myself with things to remind me. By the way, since you asked, here’s one of my favorite ones from the Gospel of Thomas, The Lost Gospel, “if you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.” Chew on that one for a while. That’s a good one.

There is much truth in that. You do a lot of martial arts. You have a lot of martial arts references surrounding you, and it helps shape your life and has in the past. Tell us about how that came about. What sort of martial arts? What were some of the biggest takeaways? How did it change you?

It’s funny. I love the question because the questions you ask, Stephan, whether you know it or not, are taking it to a deep existential spiritual level. I learned martial arts from my mother when she studied Kung Fu when I was about ten years old. I’ll never forget when I saw the book on her. I was like, “Kung Fu mom? What are you doing studying Kung Fu?”

Then she referenced Dave Carradine and all that stuff. Remember the Kung Fu TV show?  

I remember watching that when I was a kid. 

That snatched the pebble from my hand. Remember that whole thing? Understanding the esoterics of martial arts at a young age wasn’t about self-defense or fighting, which I think, unfortunately, we have a lot of, that there’s an implication of winning over other people. It’s the spiritual aspects of martial arts that have made a big difference in my life since a young age.

In the Marine Corps, as you can imagine, we’re warriors, and we’re taught to fight hand-to-hand. I learned five different martial arts genres while in the Marine Corps. I learned self-defense bringing the components of martial arts mastery and spiritual mastery into the space and then manifesting that somatically and being the master in that context. 

It’s the spiritual aspects of martial arts that have made a big difference in my life since a young age.

My favorite art is aikido. I’ve studied aikido because it’s all about energy management and using your opponent’s energy in your favor, not necessarily to overcome them, but create a dance that works.

That’s the concept of randori that we talk about. I think we all live in a metaphorical dojo all the time. Life is just an ongoing dojo as we continue to spar against ourselves and against energies that might be compelled to stop us from becoming whatever we’re feeling forced to become.

One of my favorite kinds of Kung Fu type scenes that just comes to mind when we’re talking is in The Matrix. They’re in the construct. They’re not in the matrix, but they’re in the construct, and they’re pulling in a program of, I forget, which martial art and Morpheus is showing Neo how to spar without having to show him because it’s just been downloaded. 

It is the essence of understanding that. It must be great to be able to have that awareness downloaded. In the meantime, we foster that awareness through experience, discipline, and commitment.  

We have to earn it. That’s a core spiritual concept, and if you don’t earn it, then it comes with all sorts of side effects if you get it anyway. You get the thing like you to win the lottery or get a brand new car at 16, and then you’re worse off than a few.,

Let’s go into that one quickly, Stephan, if you don’t mind. We live in a world where many people are entitled to be victims. They’re entitled victims, and they’re oblivious to the fact that they’re entitled victims. Realize that you are entitled to nothing. I am entitled to nothing. As you say, I get to earn respect back to leadership.

In the stories of leadership from the Marine Corps or business leadership, there are a lot of leaders that are just because they have a role, they feel like they are entitled to be respected, but that’s not what earning respect, and leadership is all about. It’s about, as you say, making that and being the leader that people want to follow.

Be the leader that people want to follow.

There’s a leadership gap these days that is practically a vacuum. As conscientious leaders, we get to step into that space and be the type of leaders that future generations need to see. Because unfortunately, they’re seeing leadership exemplified in, from my perspective, the wrong way, which is a great opportunity for us to step in and be the leaders that we know and our families and our communities get to see.

If you could download whatever skillset, abilities or knowledge base without having to read the books or go to courses, what would it be? What would you want just to get plugged in? There you go, Chris. 

It understands who we are and what are our patterns of behavior as we go through life. As I mentioned, we were sculpted from zero to two years old. Discover that, understand that, and go spelunking into that awareness.

We go back to The Matrix. As Neo walks into the Oracle’s room, it is on the ceiling, ”Know Thyself.” It starts with that. Too many people go through life not aware of that. They think they might know, but they need to explore. That identity is valued. Why do we have the values that we have? What are our belief systems? Why do we carry those belief systems? Were we told to believe them? Were we told they were just bs? 

Understanding why we believe what we believe and then optimizing our skills to manifest behavior and get results. Then, of course, putting ourselves into environments that are consistent and congruent with that. That’s it. The answer is unique to us and unique to you as an individual human to explore that, and then life begins. 

That’s my favorite scene in the movie where they’re in Oracle’s apartment for a little different reason. I didn’t realize that I knew it was on the wall. There’s a part of that scene where Neo asks the little boy who’s bending spoons what his secret is, and the answer the boy gives is that there is no spoon.

That takes us to an essence. Back to that, you asked about who I really am. It’s that essence of spirit that I bring into my sphere of influence as I change the world. You think about the world, a big place. The world is the sphere that we can influence. 

What did Gandhi say, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” Oh my God, that’s so daunting. If we can be the change we want to see in our sphere of influence, which is as far as I can see, it’s as far as I can extend myself, then it becomes less daunting if we can actually be the change, and it starts from there.

This is something that I got on a download one day related to that quote and to Gandhi. I feel like I even got it from Gandhi himself and a little corollary on being the change you want to see in the world. How does this fit? See the change you want to see in the world.

See the change and manifest the change.

I love that. What comes to me, as you say, is to be the manifestation, be the result, see it, and create a result. I love that. That’s a big aspect of what I teach, as we strive to fulfill whatever objectives we want to fill. It’s all about being result-oriented and being held accountable for achieving those results based on whatever objectives we have as human beings. I love that. See the change and manifest the change.

I got one too, and that is, in order to see the glass full instead of half empty, you have to train your mind to see that. In fact, I think it’s something that Tony Robbins said, like, ‘you have to see things not just the way they are, but the way that they could be. See them better than they are as well.’

He teaches in one of his initial programs that see things as they are. The three component of success is to see things as they are, not necessarily worse than they are, but truly as they are. The number one is to see things as they can be, (2) develop plans and components that work to be able to get results. Then the third component is to make them as you see them, which is about the effective execution and deployment of those plans. That’s been fundamental in my life. 

Seeing the change you want to see in the world also reflects the influence we can have on global circumstances, not just local ones. It reflects the ability of our minds to see things better as they are to then start the manifestation process, the positive expectancy, the law of attraction sort of thing. 

I think there’s an aspect of amen, so it is because we see beyond the illusion. I learned this in Kabbalah, “everything is a miracle.” We see and define things that are seemingly impossible happening, becoming possible as miracles. But in reality, what a miracle is in Kabbalah is the removal of the illusionary veils that prevent us from seeing that there’s a blessing in absolutely everything that’s happening, all for the greater good. Blessings abound; everything is a blessing. It’s just whether the blessing has been revealed or not. 

Things happen to us, and it’s our choice to transcend that capacity of victimization and be a victor.

If you want lots more of the abundance that you pray for, pray for revealed blessings versus just blessings because the broken bone or whatever that happened is actually for your highest and best good. You just have to zoom out far enough to see it.

I call it holistic objectivity. We’re all victimized every day. Things happen to us, and it’s our choice to transcend that capacity of victimization and be a victor. It’s again, so cliche. Life doesn’t happen to us. It happens to us. How is that happening to me? If you can realize that at the moment, then again, we’re getting closer to mastery every day. 

That actually gets close to what I would like to ask when I asked you what you would like to download. For me, it would be that wisdom of the bigger picture. 

Let’s reflect on that. You’re right. I would love to influence people with wisdom. In my experience, Stephan, wisdom is something that gets to be matured into. It’s something that can’t be contrived. It’s like an apple growing on a tree. You want to eat the apple, but if you pick it before it ripens, it’s not a practical experience, right? 

Wisdom is something that is obtained through a life of actualization, understanding why we’re here with a focus on purpose and meaning. We all want to feel like we’re making a difference and contributing to building something great. Purpose and meaning are two different yet crucial aspects that make us who we are as we become human beings. The keyword word is “becoming.” 

The world we live in is so full of division and uncertainty. It’s our role as leaders in whatever capacity that is for whatever role as a leader you are or be a leader in business, leader in the family, we’re all leading something. It’s all about engaging people with a culture, an environment, even a psychological culture, and a mindset of purpose. Allowing other people’s vocations to mean something as we all contribute to the condition of our collective future together. That’s my ideal, and it’s a good articulation of my essence, Stephan, answering the question you asked earlier. 

Purpose and meaning are two different yet crucial aspects that make us who we are.

Nice. One thing I learned about wisdom not too long ago in Kabbalah studies was that wisdom is something that you don’t work on and build on your own. It’s something that is gifted to you from above, from the upper world. If you’re working on something and you think you’re getting wisdom from doing it, it’s probably just understanding. That’s what I was taught. And so, if you want more wisdom, you can pray for it and get more as a gift. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard anything like that.

Actually, praying for wisdom doesn’t mean you’re going to get it necessarily, but it means that your orientation, heart, and soul set are oriented toward receiving wisdom.

One of the refrigerator magnets that I grew up with all my life that Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Don’t pray for an easy life. Pray to be a strong person.” As wisdom becomes instilled in us through the experience of ourselves through life as it happens to us.

I go through this timeline and I see a lot of people struggling to an extreme. I see people these days taking their own lives just because they just don’t know how to cope, realizing that that envelope might get pushed. And then what do we do when that envelope gets pushed through loss, challenge, grief, or struggle? And that, based on my experience, is when characters actually cultivate it through the crucible.

What would be the most pivotal moment for you and your childhood in that regard?

I lost my mother when I was 18. She had a tough life. I hadn’t been aware of what was going on, and she ended up drying up and being a wonderful person. She passed. She got cancer and made me confront my mortality at a relatively young age. That was the pivot for me, Stephan. It made me realize that there’s more than what we see.

I heard about it. I studied religion and Christianity, but then I actually realized that existed in my heart for the first time. And then I embarked on my own. I went to college and became an independent leader. It all stemmed from that pivotal moment of realizing that my best friend, the person that I confided in, was no longer around. Where is she? She’s somewhere, or that essence is somewhere. That was probably the biggest influence, I think.

“Don’t pray for an easy life. Pray to be a strong person.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Did you get any further clarity on where that essence is?

It’s funny. The clarity that I’ve learned in my life around the truth of where that essence is stems from that spelunking, that exploration of who I really am. Stripping away the flesh and bone, repackaging the personality, and what’s left? What is that? That comes and goes from a place.

Here I am, a person trying to wrap my mind around it with my psychological limitations, and I’ll just do my best to understand. And what we get to do is transcend those limitations of thought and learn through transformational and practically transcendental experience is the answer to that question. And the answer is unique to me. It’s my belief back when we talked about belief systems.

I’ve got a belief system that’s really strong in that context, and I believe something based on my experience of myself, and it’s been galvanized and proven through lots of experiences of challenge, struggle, strife, joy, elation, love, and loss. If you want to explain it scientifically, it’s like the Akashic field, right? You can say, “what is the Akashic field?” Well, I don’t know. Study it and understand it.

Fortunately, in my life, I’ve been able to experience the Akashic field through psychedelic induction. It’s one of the things I enjoy about medicinal, sacred, psychedelic work because it allows me to experience something I would never otherwise be able to experience. It’s impossible to describe it in words, but I’ve been able to transcend. They say, ‘die before you die,’ right?

It’s coming to terms with my mortality and frankly being even more grateful for this limited lifetime that I will live. I mean, nobody gets out of this life alive. And if you can approach that with existential joy versus fear, that adds a lot to the experience.

Another way to look at it, if no one gets out of this life alive, is that we are eternal beings who have a mortal human experience, and death is just a doorway. And the other side of the veil or the upper worlds, that’s where our home is.

The unknown is like a fog bank, it’s intimidating.

As I process it the way the world hears it, it’s the unknown, right? The unknown is like a fog bank. You walk into a fog bank, and it’s intimidating. What’s in there? I don’t know. And if we can stop being afraid of that and embrace it and realize it’s all part of our existential evolution, then that societal contraction we live in can be released.

And people can actually stop living from their worlds or bubbles, their spheres of influence from a place of taking. And just having those basic Maslow hierarchical needs met, as opposed to realizing and having gratitude around the needs that are being met and then extending ourselves to being of service. I think that’s the secret. It’s of service.

I like being served just like anybody else does, right? Just like Tony says, “It’s a pleasure-pain paradigm.” We all want more pleasure, and we want less pain. We can’t help it. We’re human beings. If you can transcend from that and realize that the pain that we experience is designed to allow us to be able to see things that we wouldn’t otherwise experience and be that change and manifest that change, that makes all the difference. It’s not just about pleasure as flesh and bone meat packages go through life, and I want pleasure all the time.

If I’m just a pleasure-seeking thing, it’s not going to work out. The moral of the story is having the discipline to transcend and realize that I’m here for a purpose, kind of pulling it all together and being the leader manifesting the change that I am compelled to be in life. Lots of good stuff. I love the way you pull things out.

Two things about what you just said. One is when you’re talking about avoiding pain and moving toward pleasure. That’s a very fundamental built into our bodysuit system, right? In Kabbalah, I learned of that being called your body consciousness versus your soul consciousness, which is here to learn, grow, evolve, and correct any soul corrections that need to be taken care of.

We are eternal beings who are having a human experience, and death is just a doorway. Our home is on the other side of the veil. Click To Tweet

It’s like your soul consciousness wants to be in service mode versus self-service mode, but your body consciousness keeps moving your body to the pantry every hour or so, looking for a snack not because you’re hungry but because I got to feed that pleasure drive that just seems to be hijacking me.

We talk about consistent self-evaluation as we go through life, asking ourselves questions. ‘What are my perceptions?’ ‘Why do I perceive what I do?’ It’s a good question. Journal on it. ‘Given my perceptions, what do I want?’ Well, based on this, I want this. Again, it’s unique to each of us.

The third question is, ‘what will I do to get what I want?’ Okay. Well, that’s interesting. And then, as you answer these questions for yourself, the essence becomes exposed. And then, will that be effective? ‘What do I want to do to get what I want?’ ‘Will that be effective in getting me what I want?’ Good question. ‘What else could I do, and then what will I do ultimately?’ Those are the six questions for self-evaluation.

Another one I would add as a bonus is, “Is this the most benevolent way for me to get this outcome?”

Good question.

Or ‘is there something better?’

Good question. And that’s a question we all get to ask ourselves. I can sit here and tell people all day long what I think, but it’s not about what I think. It’s about what you think.

And getting in touch with that inner knowing is a lot of what this whole earth school life experience is about. As Tony says, “All you need is within you now.”

There you go.

Jesus said, “That which you have will save you if you bring it forth from yourselves. That which you do not have within you will kill you if you do not have it within you.” – Gospel of Thomas

You don’t have to study all the books. You don’t have to go to all the courses and seminars. You just have to go inward.

One of my recent guests was Sam The Illusionist. He’s a psychic and channels beings. It’s a really cool interview.

One of his videos that I saw was on how you could go inward to get into the present moment. This was a channeling session. This wasn’t him talking about it. This was him receiving information about what we are experiencing right now when we think we’re in the present moment.

I’m so present right now. I’m in the interview, and I’m listening to what the other person is saying. I’m being thoughtful and thought-provoking in my responses. You’re still basing the present moment on the fallacy that the five senses are bringing you into the present moment. But in reality, when you rely on the five senses, that is in the past. It already happened. What you think is happening right now, if you hear a dog barking in the background or whatever, it’s an echo. It happened in the past. Not now.

If you want to get into the actual present moment, you have to shut out those five senses and go inward. When you go inward and do not pay attention to the five senses, that’s where you can find the present moment.

Dr. Joe Dispenza talks about doing these meditations where you get into the unified field of being nobody, nothing in no time, and in no place. That’s also at the present moment.

We’re tapping into the realm that I explored. It’s one of the things I feel like I’m here to do, whether it be Dispenza awareness and theoretical awareness, but also unconscious awareness too.

We all have unconscious minds which is a cliche. We only use 10% of our brains. Well, it’s not an exact science, but the other 90% is the unconscious mind, and that’s where genius lies. That’s where our true possibilities are.

Genius talent is the ability to understand and articulate higher levels of understanding beyond our consensus reality.

Everybody has genius in them. We all have Einstein in us, right? And genius talent is the ability to understand and articulate higher levels of understanding beyond our consensus reality, to foster and raise awareness and capability of leaders in whatever genre and to accelerate those results by tapping into the possibilities that we don’t know. So that’s where the possibilities are.

From a three-dimensional standpoint, that zone of genius is “I’m going to work and study.” When you don’t know what you don’t know, you kind of surrender to your higher power. That’s not the way for me to gain enlightenment. Then you surrender and connect to that unified field through all that is, you get those wisdom downloads, and you get all the magic happening and the synchronicities and everything.

I’m curious to hear. Do you have any amazing, without a doubt signs of the other side? I know you had that very powerful Akashic field experience when taking plant medicine, but have you had synchronicities or coincidences that kind of blew your mind?

I always like to operate from a place where that is just consistent ideally. I’ve had times where the coincidences, the synchronicities flood. It’s like fluid. They’re flowing. I immediately extend gratitude for the reality that I’ve come to realize.

I think the imperative of getting into that space is being in that space of slowing down, being calm, focusing on the breath, grounding ourselves being centered. And in my angle on that stuff, that’s how I get to that point tapping into the existential idea of who I am, and then I experience what the true meaning of life is.

One thing that you said earlier about that fog is the fear of the unknown that freaks a lot of people out. It freaked me out. I had so much fear of death while I was agnostic for the majority of my adulthood.

The Game of Life and How to Play It by Florence Scovel Shinn

By the way, “FEAR” stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. When you’re looking at the fog and thinking, oh, my goodness. I’m not going to exist after I die. The worst that I could possibly imagine is what’s going to happen. That’s another thing I learned about fear recently while reading the book, The Game of Life and How to Play It by Florence Scovel Shinn. She defined fear as inverse faith.

I heard once, just to back you up, that worrying is praying for what we don’t want along those same lines. It’s so cliche. There’s nothing to fear but fear itself. It makes sense. And then we, as flesh and bone meat packages, do our best to have more pleasure and less pain. So get to come to terms with that.

I could lecture all day long over the difference that makes, but the imperative is for us to experience that. And not throw a bunch of platitudes out there but be that fearless leader, whatever that looks like for us. Don’t dilute your soul trying to be like somebody else confronting those fears. Then and only we can actually overcome them.

You do a lot of coaching, training, workshops, and things like that for your clients. What have you found to be the most effective modality for dancing with fear and putting it in its place, making it small?

Tony Robbins would do these exercises where he’s like, ‘picture the thing in your mind that you don’t want. Make it smaller. Make it even smaller. Make it really tiny. Push it far away. Make it darker. Make it gray, not colored,’ and so forth. And it works. These processes really work.

I’m curious. What’s the most effective process that you’ve come up with or that you’ve tried with your clients? I’m thinking of things like visualizations. What’s that called when you’re climbing up poles, and you have to jump off of them and all that? I’ve done that before.

Like the high ropes courses? You’re right. And it’s funny. You talk about fear. One of the things Tony does is on day one, and you’re walking on fire, literally. Bare feet walking on fire coals like the coals are burning. Talk about confronting fear.

The key is to create an environment where you’re safe and you’re respected.

One of the things that are consistent with Tony is neurolinguistic programming. Programming the language of your brain. I got my NLP Certification about ten years ago, and it’s all about understanding how we think. And it’s situationally dependent, Stephan. Timeline regression is a really good mechanism. That’s one thing I like to use. Otherwise, overcoming that paradigm of fear and confronting it. I love a good high ropes course, a challenge course, and team-building things.

I do organizational development, bringing people together and creating a container in a safe space, and then challenging people to raise their performance bar and engaging teams toward heightened awareness around what’s possible based on a shared vision and common collective direction, and then challenging one another. That’s how it’s done. The key is to create an environment where you’re safe and you’re respected, and that’s the difference that it makes. I think so.

Amazing. The walking on fire thing changed my life back in 2009. That was my first Tony Robbins event, and I am unrecognizable. I was unrecognizable a year later from the […] went to that seminar. I do have before and after photos on the About page on this podcast’s website. It all started with that. Walking on 2000-degree hot coals changed everything.

And you can do it. The rhetorical question is, “Why would you ever want to do that?” Why would you ever want to do that, knowing that you’re safe and then knowing that on the other side of those hot coals lies the life that you are meant to live?

Yeah. And all the fear (false evidence appearing real) that’s holding you back. For me, it was holding me back from getting LASIK, holding me back from getting a hair transplant, changing my diet, starting to exercise, and workout and all that. It was all just on the other side of 10 feet of hot coals that I walked over, and I didn’t get any burns. I didn’t even get a blister. How empowering is that?


Amazing. All right. If our listener or viewer wants to work with you, bring you on to do a keynote speech, or do training or workshops, how do they get in touch?

You can't work on and build wisdom on your own. Wisdom is gifted to you from above. Click To Tweet

My work is focused on aligning business teams across different points of view, allowing them to see what one another is seeing and then fostering heightened levels of trust, collaboration, commitment, and accountability. That’s what we do.

I’m on LinkedIn, it’s my good platform. I think I’m one of the only Chris Steely who’s got a bunch of followers on LinkedIn. Otherwise, is my website too.

And you also have

Yes. By the way, I think everybody should have their name as a URL if you can. I got about 20 years ago. It’s a platform that kind of describes who I am as a human.

Awesome. Chris, this was such a pleasure. Thank you for joining us.

It’s great to know Stephan. I’ve known you for a while, and I continue to be impressed by the caliber of a human that you are, sir. Thank you.

Likewise, thank you so much. Thank you, listener. Make it a great week. Reveal some light in the world. Make a difference, and we’ll catch you in the next episode.

Important Links

Checklist of Actionable Takeaways

?Live courageously. Be ready to face and embrace all of the challenges life throws at me. Accept the reality that the journey to self-actualization will never be a walk in the park.

?Keep learning about myself. Deep knowledge of who I am is a strong motivation to live a meaningful life.

?Don’t succumb to the victim mentality. Instead of blaming something or someone else, remain in control of how I feel and my perspective. Trusting myself to overcome challenges grants me power to turn my life around.

?Meditate to slow down, experience peace, and stay centered. Meditation helps me become aware and more purposeful with my actions. It also teaches me to respond, rather than react, to situations in my life..

?Pay attention to my behavior and how I treat myself and others. Raise my consciousness through my experience, discipline, and commitment.

?Become a force for positive change in the world. Step up my game to create a more peaceful and productive society. Even small, positive changes I make can have a great impact on others.

?Be a leader that people want to follow. People long for guidance from those they respect and who have a clear life direction. ‘

?Always pray for wisdom. Achieve clear discernment to help me overcome difficult situations and prevent huge losses.

?Consistently evaluate myself. Ask the following questions: What are my perceptions? Why do I have my perspective? Given my perceptions, what do I want? What will I do to get what I want? Will my actions get me what I want? Is this the most benevolent way for me to achieve my desired outcome?

?Visit Chris Steely’s website or follow him on LinkedIn to get to know him better and to stay posted on his latest news. Check out GPS Business Group’s website to learn more about Chris’s services, training, and workshops.

About Chris Steely

MBA, CEO, business owner & managing director, former Silicon Valley IT executive, Marine Corps Logistics officer, trained & coached 1,200 business coaches in 26 countries, certified professional facilitator, NCAA National Champion rower and coach, published author & speaker, certified facilitator and genius mind practitioner. Helping business leaders raise their bars of performance.

Disclaimer: The medical, fitness, psychological, mindset, lifestyle, and nutritional information provided on this website and through any materials, downloads, videos, webinars, podcasts, or emails is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical/fitness/nutritional advice, diagnoses, or treatment. Always seek the help of your physician, psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, certified trainer, or dietitian with any questions regarding starting any new programs or treatments, or stopping any current programs or treatments. This website is for information purposes only, and the creators and editors, including Stephan Spencer, accept no liability for any injury or illness arising out of the use of the material contained herein, and make no warranty, express or implied, with respect to the contents of this website and affiliated materials.


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