AS Seen On

By: Stephan Spencer

Introduction

Crisis is the gateway to liberation. And our guest today, Kai Schliebusch, embodies that statement. He went through his own dark night of the soul, where he was depressed and suicidal, which led to a spiritual awakening and an understanding of his true self – his essence.

Now, Kai is a spiritual teacher, speaker, author and life coach of modern and practical spirituality. He helps people find their path towards inner growth, self-empowerment and self-realization.

Kai Schliebusch
“The time has come when every human being on the planet has the right and the chance to wake up and stop suffering forever. The truth is so simple!”
Kai Schliebusch

In this episode, Kai offers a synthesis of Eastern wisdom and Western psychology and shares the story of struggle with candor and vulnerability. I think you’re going to like this episode. According to Kai, you are what you are looking for.

And now on with the show!

In this Episode

  • [00:30]Stephan introduces his next guest, Kai Schliebusch, a truly game-changing spiritual teacher, speaker, author and life coach. He represents a modern, practically tangible spirituality.
  • [01:19]Kai narrates the origin story of becoming a spiritual teacher and going through the awakening process.
  • [07:10]Stephan wants to know more about the moment when Kai sort of left his body and saw himself from above.
  • [11:35]Kai explains his thoughts about the concept of experiencing your true self practically and having self-realization.
  • [19:36]Stephan discuss that suffering can be diminished through the process of questioning one’s thoughts.
  • [26:55]Kai shares his experience of having deep depression, which led him to his awakening and becoming more and more conscious.
  • [37:16]Stephan says that you are not your thoughts, and your thoughts are not yours, which is a key aspect of liberation.
  • [39:30]Kai and Stephan explain their thoughts about the inner voice.
  • [45:45]Kai wants to spread hope and orientation since we are in the midst of change and also talks about the importance of empowering self, connection, and support.
  • [48:47]Visit Kai Schliebusch’s website to know more about self-empowerment and living life with happiness and freedom.

Jump to Links and Resources

Transcript

Kai, it’s so great to have you on the show.

I’m so happy that you have me. Thank you very much. Looking forward to talk to you, Stephan.

Yes, me too. Let’s, first of all, talk a bit about your origin story, how you ended up as a spiritual teacher, and going through this whole awakening process. What happened and how did it all occur?

As you surely know, it always is the consequence of suffering. I’ve also come a long way of suffering. I felt, from a very early beginning in my life, separated somehow from myself, from life, from others. I had, on my path, a lot of issues, periods of deep depression. I had experienced toxic relationships as most of us did, severe physical pain, and I had to fight myself through that just to survive, to come back on the surface.

I did everything you might imagine what can be done on that path. I did a lot of different kinds of therapy. I’ve worked with shamans. I work with the beautiful Byron Katie. You also interviewed her already. I started questioning my thoughts. I met a beautiful guy 15 years ago who said, “Kai, by the way, do you know that you are able to observe your thoughts?” I said, “No, but thank you.” Then I started that weird process. I had to learn to breathe again and to understand what really happened in the depth of myself.

The time has come when every human being on the planet has the right and the chance to wake up and stop suffering forever. The truth is so simple! Click To Tweet

I had to learn what conditioning really means. I had to learn that issue that we call developmental trauma. I had to learn to deal with my emotions, with my bodily sensations, with the shivering in the middle of the night, with that inner restlessness, with all that. I think most of your listeners and viewers should know that from their own experience, and you might as well.

To shorten it up a bit, it happened six years ago now, that really life changing moment. I was standing in the kitchen back in my apartment in Bonn, Germany. All of a sudden, I have that crucial moment where I could literally see and hear a thought arising and coming up. In a few minutes, sports will come on TV. I observed myself stopping doing the dishes, throwing the plate and the tower in the corner. I could observe that my body was already moving towards the living room.

I could see in that moment, I’m not the thinker, I’m not that thought, and I’m not the body either. I’m that, which is consciously experiencing a thought and the movement of my body. In that moment, I felt intuitively, that’s what all is talking about. This is just consciousness, the confirmation of my true identity, my true self. I am the conscious realm within which everything arises and fades.

I am the conscious realm within which everything arises and fades.

This was a starting point from really a roller coaster. I felt so much love, happiness, and freedom. Then there was a long-term of tremendous pain and suffering because everything that has been suppressed ever in my life was coming up layer by layer and I had to face them. I could see above all what I did to myself just by being identified with my ego with what we are not.

What I did, how I injured myself and other people, my family, my friends, how I sabotage myself, and in that process, I came across that deep intuitive knowing, the true knowing in my heart, I will die as well. I came aware of my own mortality. This literally changed everything in my life.

This was a process of six tremendous, painful, crazy years. For sure, I’m still not at the end. There’s always stuff coming up. What this process is in my life, what I’m sharing, actually, my work and my mission, has taught me that unconsciousness and the ignorance, the not knowing who we truly are and how conditioning works, that we have to understand the truth behind our human experience, how it really works to be a human being.

This is what I’m sharing out there, that our true self is nothing we have to look for. It’s nothing we have to find somewhere. It’s not about becoming, it’s about being, that by birth, our true nature is complete. There’s nothing missing, actually.

There is that true place that’s unchanging, what we truly are that is complete, that is already in its place. It’s not feeling separated from anything out there. There is still peace. There is unhappiness that you don’t have to fight for every day again and again.

I came aware of my own mortality. This literally changed everything in my life.

There’s a place where we don’t have to take personal, where we don’t have that wish to condemn to push away. It’s just what is and in that moment, I could see what I am is that what you are as well, it’s just a different form. I’m recognizing myself within yourself in that truthful connection with you in that encounter with you. All destructing my life was just a consequence and a symptom actually, so to say, from that, but was not seen so far within myself.

In the moment that you kind of left your body and saw yourself from above, was that precipitated by you, perhaps praying or asking for an experience, or did it just spontaneously come about?

It was a spontaneous experience. As I said, I was working a lot in that phase of my life. I was questioning my thoughts. I have read a lot of stuff like Krishnamurti and all that, the old ages from the eastern part of the world. I had to question myself. What is the meaning of all that? Who am I really?

I had those questions within myself. I could hear them and I think it was just an intuitive natural process, where what I am is really wanting to confirm itself to be consciousness, and this is the mystery. Life is actually a mystery, but that invisible intelligence has the capability to experience itself and its own identity, and to make that experience that truly everything is already here. This was amazing. It still is. 

To answer your question, no, there was no praying at all. It was just that wish to escape, but not in terms of running away, to escape by cultivating and attitude of welcoming, of integrating, not pushing away, not more fragmentation. I learned layer by layer to integrate, to accept what was in myself already, what was I projecting all the time to others, that I saw myself separated from life as a victim of circumstances of others.

I learned layer by layer to integrate, to accept what was in myself already.

In those six years, so far, it has changed completely. My invitation to people out there in the world is that everything is already here, and that we can make that, and we need to make the practical, direct experience of who we truly are. It’s not about spirituality if we talk about a modern practical approach. It’s not about a technique, nothing that I can pretend to be or practice from my experience.

A modern practical spirituality enables me to practically confirm my identity as I am, consciousness, and there’s nothing missing. That intuitive knowing, it’s the same like you are. If I’m observing my battle within myself, and what happens right now is that humanity is just exhausted by the fight against themselves. This is what I’m observing. This is the midst of change we are in, the transition into more conscious society and humanity.

It’s not about getting more information, not about creating the self, not searching, finding yourself, but much more. The direct experience, it’s already here. I am what I’m looking for and there’s nothing missing. 

What I try to do is to build a bridge for everyone and to build a bridge between east and west because from my practical experience, yes, we are conscious that we are spirit making that human experience, but we need to understand that psychological part in ourselves, because we have that human experience. We’re coming from a phase of conditioning, where we have learned and deeply ingrained false convictions about ourselves and how life happens.

I am what I’m looking for and there’s nothing missing.

We have to do both. If I’m transcending my body, my pain, I’m happy, then the angel choir is singing. I won’t have any pain for the rest of my life and exactly the other way. We have to come back for the embodiment that we truly endure. We have to turn the attention back in the body to keep in contact with our feelings, with our own boundaries, to learn to regulate ourselves to be with our feelings, to make the experience that we are bigger than the pain, and then stay put on our true place of observing consciousness. It needs both from my experience.

This idea of experiencing your true self in a practical way is very important. I equate that to like a self-realization. Then there’s a very important other track to go down, a parallel path, and that is God realization, to experiencing and understanding our true selves and experiencing an understanding or just knowing God. Both of those can be done in parallel. They don’t have to be done one after the other. One without the other is incomplete.

I learned about this from Preethaji with her husband, Krishnaji, who runs O&O Academy. It’s a oneness movement out of India. I really like this concept. What are your thoughts on that?

To be honest, my practical experience was that I have that intuitive knowing that we are the Godly principle itself. God, for me and for my practical experience, is not an object, not a third independent power, but we are of the source itself. I am not feeling separated from them. I am there and all those, right now, eight billion different physical forms with their just own purpose and destiny on earth. But in the background, it’s still that one consciousness, that one Godly principle itself, just expressing itself in that human physical experience, in that experience of life on Earth and the physical dimension.

I am consciousness and life at the same time expressing itself spontaneously creatively.

In that moment, where we have that practical experience, for me, I see myself within you and vice-versa. There is not that longing in myself for praying because I have that deep trust and experience that I’m alive. I am consciousness and life at the same time expressing itself spontaneously creatively.

Life actually does not need help. We have much more to learn, so just leave it as it is. If you look at the river, the river is not asking itself, where should I go? It’s just flowing. The bird and the tree is not asking, ‘oh, I hope I get the right node and I hope if Kai is passing, that he likes my singing.’

We  are the only idiots on that planet who want to be something else what we actually are. This is the identification with that false identity, that little fake eye as I call it as a consequence of that conditioning we all run through, because we had to split ourselves because of the pain of being rejected, of not being seen, of the feeling of not belonging, of not being saved, when we really needed it.

Not being liked.

Exactly.

So much of what we do is to try to be liked or to try to avoid being disliked.

Exactly, and it’s exactly coming from that thought of conditioning. Because if we come in the baby body, by the way, who are we before we get our name? There is that pure being that we all feel attracted to, that we want to cuddle and all that. Who is that little thing, that being in that not very pretty body in the beginning?

We are in the midst of change. It’s tremendously painful, and it’s chaos.

From my experience, we just need to remember ourselves of that pure being that we are, in fact. I’m not my name, I’m not my stars, and I’m not my birthday. I’m not my story, especially not the story I have created myself by being identified with ego. My story is not the result of being identified but with what I’m not. It is just a protective mechanism because of that reason you just mentioned.

I don’t want to feel that ever, ever again, that pain of being rejected, of unworthiness, not being good enough. I have to work very hard to be loved, accepted and all that, and this is why we are wearing a mask. We encounter each other wearing our masks and blaming each other that you don’t see me by just covering my eyes.

This is the problem of projection that we don’t see. I blame you for doing something with me when I actually do with you without knowing. You can see that wherever on this planet, Corona, vaccination, whatever. It’s not about the solution, it’s about blaming each other for being wrong. You are wrong because I’m right. I know I’m right and I’m blaming you that you think that you are right.

We are trapped in that endless loop of trigger and reaction

This is just an absurd thing. We are trapped in that endless loop of trigger and reaction. Because with the identification with ego, it’s nothing lively. There is no liveliness. There is no ability of reflecting, it’s just a mental defending mechanism. As long as we are identified with that, we’re running around as that, let’s say, lively and body defense mechanism, blaming others not to be in contact with what I have suppressed so deep in myself because it’s just painful.

In that moment where it’s painful, again, it has to do with you. I see separated myself from life, from you. If I’m alone, I feel fine so far. If you come next to me and I feel not comfortable anymore, it has to do with you. But the truth is, it’s within myself. It’s the old story.

What happens is that consciousness split it up. There’s that thing that wanted to be expressed, and the thing that we have just injected in ourselves like the voice from outside—my mother, my dad, whatever—society that said, you’re not good enough. If you’re doing what I want, you’re getting isolated. This is the trap we are all in.

We’re just pretending. We are pretenders. That wish that we can collectively feel right now of being authentic, of being ourselves is the consequence of the pressure of sabotaging ourselves for thousands of years. It’s just getting unbearable and we feel that more and more.

In that sense, Corona, for me, is a tremendous booster for our evolution with hurting, pain, and catastrophes. On the other hand, we are thrown back in ourselves. We have to take care of what is inside. We cannot escape. We cannot run away and go to the restaurant, eat the next burger, buy a bottle of alcohol, meeting friends. We have to stay at home. We have to feel that inner restlessness and all that.

You don't have to look for your true Self. It's not about becoming; it's about being. Your true nature is complete by birth, and nothing is missing. Click To Tweet

Also, at the same time in the outside world, the system is breaking down. Everything that we have clung or linked our value to in the outside world—the status, the materialism, my image, the picture I want you to have for myself so that you accept me—is always the same story, the same root of suffering.

Now everything is breaking down, so who am I if everything is gone? What can I do with all that mess within myself? I have to look at it. Crisis is always the gate into true liberation. I think you agree from all that.

Yeah, of course. What Byron Katie teaches is that, all suffering can be abated, removed, just through her process of questioning your thoughts, having the four questions that you pose to yourself about your thought—Is it true? Can I know with absolute certainty, it’s true? How does that thought make me feel? What would life be like if that thought didn’t exist?—and then seeing if there’s an opposite to your thought that is actually more true in terms of those four questions.

This person doesn’t like me, so I think, is that true? Can I know with absolute certainty this person doesn’t like me? How does that thought that the person doesn’t like me make me feel and what would life be like if that thought didn’t exist? An opposite of that, a turnaround would be this person actually does like me or I don’t like this person. Maybe that’s more true.

Your authentic Self has been suppressed by your conditioning. You're fighting for years and decades against yourself, and your body is just exhausted. Click To Tweet

I don’t like myself.

Yeah, or run as many turnarounds as you can through what she calls the work, the four questions. You’ll find the fallacy, the illusion of a lot of your thinking. A lot of your thoughts are inaccurate, incorrect, and not helpful.

Exactly. What I’ve found out from my own questioning is that it helps because if I’m coming from an inner distance, just as a neutral observer of my thoughts, in that moment where question the thought, I see the thought as an object, so I’m not identified with a thought anymore. At the end, because the conditioned mind is always pretending exactly the opposite of truth, it has to because it has the job to defend what I am. If I have to defend 100%, I have to do exactly the other thing.

In that moment, we have the chance to confirm ourselves as the observer. If I’m not identified with that false thinking, I have the chance to fall back with the attention to my true place and see, well, actually, it was wrong what it was thinking within myself. I’m not that one who is thinking, I’m not that story, and this would have also inviting the people. You are not the one on the screen, you’re not the one in the movie. Actually, you are the one sitting in the first row having a popcorn. All you have to do is to turn the attention out of the story on the screen and make that practical experience, as I said, that you are the one in the first row eating the popcorn, and that there is nothing missing on the first row.

You are the observer. There’s nothing you have to look for. Just confirm what is already here.

This is what actually happens with the questioning of your thoughts. I guess this is what actually was happening back then in that process, in that moment I described earlier, because I had a long period of questioning all my thoughts and reading about who am I really. You are the observer. There’s nothing you have to look for. Just confirm what is already here.

We have to learn—this is the change of perspective I’m writing to—instead of trying to solve problems in the outside world, try to find the one who thinks that he has a problem he has to solve, and then you come to that conclusion and clear seeing that it’s just a thought itself and there is ego creating problems that it wants to solve after that. This is just an endless loop.

You have the power, and this is all about self-empowerment, that you can make that conscious decision to turn your attention back from the fourth story, out of that identification back to what you already are. This is completely irritating. 

I remember I was running for weeks at night through my apartment. Jesus Christ, I’m really existing. What is that? Who am I if I’m not that. I was so confused, but at the end of the day, it’s just a process of stabilization. You’re getting more and more stabilized in your true place. Your practical experience, it’s nothing missing. I feel connected, I feel happy.

What is coming with that, automatically, is that my perception from myself, from the world, from others, from you, is changing automatically, tremendously because I have more clarity. I’m not identified with that filter anymore. I just see things as they are.

In that moment, I have no wish to come then to fight no more because I see you have the same fight as I. You’re just struggling as I did and I’m still doing. How can I blame you for having the same issue that I have. This is just the process of stabilizing, accepting, understanding, and above all, integrating and not pushing away. Because there’s so much pain, so much fear, panic, jealousy, all that you mentioned, the feeling of being rejected, not good enough, and this wants to be seen.

God is not an object or third independent power. We are of the source itself.

It’s not like you pushed it just away on the cupboard and that’s it. No, you have to open it, you have to see what’s going on here, and just learn to be present with that actual layer that is in front of us. In that moment where we integrate, we feel what the thought is. Now I don’t want to be vulnerable, then it hurts me. I don’t want to be hurt anymore.

I said, okay, well, you have to go through that practical experience, and then you experience it, you’re getting lighter, you’re getting more clear. You feel not so much in that battle. You feel much more coming from an inner distance, from an observing place. You intuitively know there is no guilt, actually. I’m always saying our parents or grandparents, all that around us, there is no one really guilty, but they were all just injured and had all those old wounds.

This is actually the way out of that chaos. I want to do my contribution that we get out of that without experiencing, really, a big catastrophe with war and terror again because there is a way. This is my message, but we have to turn around, and not try to solve it, and to arm ourselves even more to find the better strategy, the even better concept or another recipe, to turn the attention to the inside world, to entrust ourselves, what is going on here and how does it really works?

How is the connection of thoughts, of feelings, of my unconscious automatic behavior, which is completely in an unconscious bubble? I’m just in that exterior world fighting against others, which is actually a fight against myself without knowing it. It’s just a reflection.

Crisis is always the gate into true liberation. Click To Tweet

Somebody who’s listening who might feel depressed or even suicidal, what you described will probably, I would guess, seem so foreign and far away to them. It might seem unattainable. They can’t even barely get out of bed in the morning. Then you’re talking about having this realization that you are one with God and that you are the person in the front row of the movie theater.

I believe you had your own experience of suicidal thoughts, suicidal ideation at one point, and you work your way through it. What would you tell our listeners about what you went through and how dark it got? What gift that was to go through that experience now that you can look at it with 20/20 hindsight?

It was completely black, I can say that. There was no hope at all, but I went through that after making that experience of awakening and becoming more and more conscious already because that deep depression in my case was too much pain to handle at once because what I saw was just too much. The pain in myself—not living my needs, not living in a loving relationship with family and friends, seeing mortality, and above the line—was just too much.

For sure, my body, depression is also at the same time, besides our capability of regulating our pain or even not because we didn’t learn it, because it’s too much to hold. It’s the fact that our biological body is just making a shutdown because of that inner fight for years and decades. I experienced both.

Depression is actually the suppression of what you truly are, that suppression of your truth, of your feelings, maybe for years or even decades.

What I would love to share with you, if you are in that position right now, first of all—and I don’t want to irritate yourself but maybe you want to open yourself just for the possibility that it might be different as a peace within you—depression is not really a classic disease that is attacking you from outside and that you are a victim of. Depression is actually the suppression of what you truly are, that suppression of your truth, of your feelings, maybe for years or even decades.

It’s like sitting in a prison and in front of the prison is your ego. The ego has the job to keep you in prison. This is what we have to understand if we want to know what true healing is. We have to come back in contact with the truth within ourselves. The first step would be that you are not the depression. You are observing a state of being depressed.

This is an object, you are not the problem. You are not at fault, you are not guilty. You just observe from an inner distance and you’re reporting to me, I feel and observe depressed, a depressed state. Being present with that object you’re observing and able to practically experience that in that place of observing, there is no depression.

In that moment where you’re just present with the feeling of depression, you can feel that it’s starting dissolving itself. It gets you out of that illusion that you are sick, that you are the problem that you have to solve. It’s just the other way around. What you truly are has been suppressed your life. Your authentic self has been suppressed of your condition. You’re fighting for years and decades against yourself, and your body is just exhausted.

You have to, for sure, find a way back in movement. Try to get out. I know it’s hard, but the thought, I cannot go out of that is a thought that you can observe, and then make a practical experience, and question that thought. I cannot go out of that. Is that true? Sure, you can, but you have to leave that victim role. This is the job that no one can do for ourselves.

The main message, referring to your question is, depression is not a classic disease. You are not the depression, you’re observing everything else. You’re observing anger, hatred, jealousy. You are not that feeling. You are bigger than that experienced pain.

Life is a mystery. But the invisible intelligence has the capability to experience itself and its own identity. Click To Tweet

It doesn’t matter if it’s burnout or whatever. You’re experiencing, you are observing. Then you have to come to that practical, clear, see, and experience that in that moment, where you’re just present with what is. This is what Eka tala teaches. Just be present. And then you see that the state, the feeling of depression starts dissolving just by being in that observing neutral presence. At the same time you feel I, the observer, and here is not a question. It’s just an awakened state of observing what I’m not.

The second step is that by observing, under that surface of the depression, so to say, there is the true story behind. There is a lot of pain, there’s a lot of anger, there’s a lot of sadness that you are pressing underwater. If you know a water boat, if you go in the swimming pool and you try to press the water boat underwater, you experience a lot of resistance and a lot of energy. You need to press it underwater. It’s not gone, it’s popping up somewhere else and it’s still within the same load within, so everything is still inside that.

Under the depression is a tremendous pressure, actually. In that pressure is your liveliness. In that pressure is your truth. It’s not something you have to fight against. You have to welcome it. You have to accept that depressed truth of yourself, what you are, from that conscious, observing distance. 

Then you can integrate, you can welcome what have been suppressed for so long because you thought in that illusion that you are a victim, that your value and your freedom depends on other people, which is actually not the case that you can empower yourself. Just by making that conscious decision, I observe and I allow myself to let everything come up. 

This is a process. This is not a weekend seminar, actually. This is a long process. This is the way, observe, learn to regulate yourself with your emotions, learn to hold anger, hatred, sadness, all that, and make that practical experience that you won’t die.

You are still the same body on the same couch in the same house, in the same living room, but what changes is your perception

You are still the same body on the same couch in the same house, in the same living room, but what changes is your perception. This is what we need. That conscious experience, it’s different as I thought.

One thing, the one who wants to kill itself—and I’m very serious about that—is just a sentence, just a thought itself that you can consciously hear and observe. Then that moment where I realized, I don’t want to kill myself. It’s a thought because ego has no choice anymore. It has no other escaping plan. I’m the observer and I have no problem at all. This was the turning point. This was one part of your question.

What have I learned and what is the present out of that, that I made that at one point, when it was completely dark, I made that conscious decision. I remember consciously how it feels to be completely myself in that moment of self-realization, and I have felt my needs of wanting to live at its fullest.

I want to enjoy life at its fullest. I have a destiny. I have a purpose. I have to still unfold it and I want to go back. But wait a minute, I’m already that. I know that from experience. This is just a feeling, this is just a thought, and then step by step, layer by layer, I just pulled myself out of the darkness. It’s just to reverse that process of conditioning.

Deepest depression is nothing else but being completed repressed with what we truly are, our feelings completely pushed away in combination with that physical, biological body making a shutdown, because literally, it’s too much after years and decades of fighting. Being in the permanent state of alertness it’s just too much.

Out of every crisis—and I guess you agree—it’s all about taking full responsibility for our own inner growth, for understanding, and for accepting and not running away. This is actually the gate to liberation and true happiness in a self-determined life and in harmony with our hearts. This is my practical experience I can share and want to share with you.

One thing I want to distinguish for our listeners is that it’s not just that you are not your thoughts, it’s not just that your thoughts are separate from who you are, it’s also that your thoughts are not yours. They are someone else’s. You’re simply a receiver and antenna picking up thoughts that are coming from elsewhere.

For example, negative entities, or the dark one, or if you’re in a higher vibration from your angels, your higher self, your spirit guides. If you are not your thoughts and you’re also recognizing your thoughts are not yours, then that is also, I think, a key aspect to this liberation. Because then, you can question whose thoughts are these? 

The conditioned mind is always pretending the opposite of the truth. It has to because it’s my job to defend what I am.

You can say, well, I’m just cutting this person out of my life because they behaved badly. That’s a thought. I can run the four questions through that thought to see if that thought causes suffering, but I could also take it to another level and ask my intuition, or my higher self, or my guides, whose thought is this? Where did this thought come from? You can get an answer like, wow, that thought is not a high vibration thought. That did not come from my guides, that came from the negative forces. I don’t know if you’ve experienced that before.

It’s both. We can learn to differentiate between our inner voice that is always neutral, loving, and relaxed, and just giving us the right direction in every moment. Correct?

Yeah, the inner voice also known as higher self, light avatar, and oversoul.

For some it is. Actually, I made that experience that I’m guiding myself through that human experience. There’s nothing just from my experience, nothing like, and higher self. I am the self. This is what awakening is actually making me experience, that I am that what is and that I know that you are that what is. I am the source itself.

This is actually a tremendously big mystery because we know, intuitively, I’m in the source, but that’s it. Exactly, what is that source, where is it coming from, and what is happening here? No clue, but we know we are the source. One thing which is very important to me, that conditioned voice in your mind is actually your past. If you start observing, reflecting, and question those thoughts, it’s always about the old ingrained conviction about yourself and others. That’s what we call an inner critic.

In that moment where I have learned that, that connection that I have run through a conditioning that made me escape into that mental level into ego, which is actually just the defending mechanism, and I’m identified with that in a story that is saying, “Kai, you have to adapt yourself, you are not good enough. Remember, if you just be yourself, that will have a consequence and this is very, very painful.”

When I started to question every single thought—I was writing a diary for 5–6 years, and I read them in the evening—it’s all the same. It’s like a record that has a scratch, always the same. It’s always about I am ugly, I am not good enough, I am not worth to be loved. People will leave me as soon as I’m really feeling alive, and as soon as I’m in my full potential and my full power, and that this identification led to that change in perception that it felt really real.

We have that intuition and that moment where we have that inner distance to that old story in our minds.

In that moment where you turn that attention out of the story, you see that it was really just an illusion, and that you’re back in neutral self. In that moment where you start questioning those thoughts, I’m not good enough, is that true? I’m not worth to be loved, is that true? My parents leave me if I’m really happy, is that true? They are here for 50 years. They love me. They’re protecting and supporting me every single day, how can that be that they leave me?

What I want to share really is that we have that intuition and that moment where we have that inner distance to that old story in our minds, which is from my perspective, from my experience, the story of our childhood, of our upbringing, of our conditioning, that we start questioning that. Then by questioning, we come back to that what we truly are. Then we have contact because there’s not so much noise in our minds that we have the ability for the first time, maybe, to listen that there’s something in the back always very loving, completely neutral, not judging, not pushing, just giving an advice, go to the left, not to the right.

I could start understanding and feeling, observing that distinction in that moment, where I have healed a lot of old stuff within myself because I didn’t need the one in front of my prison anymore. I knew who I really am and I knew how to regulate myself, so I didn’t need that mask anymore, and then I will have the capability to listen. What’s now the next step in my life? This was game changing because I learned to trust that voice and this changed everything.

That little voice, I remember the quote from the Bible in 1 Kings, where Elijah hears his own inner voice and it’s referred to as a still small voice. That still small voice, that’s your connection, the source. My understanding is that.

Exactly, I agree. What I just want to add is that I had a moment where I have that feeling that actually I am, somehow, that voice as well. I’m guiding myself through my human experience here on Earth. It’s just my experience and I think we mean the same.

The most important thing is that we start to intuitively feel the difference between this is a thought, this is a condition thought that wants to protect myself, and this is actually leading me in a wrong direction because I don’t want to hide myself anymore. On the other side, there is that soft little loving voice that if I start trusting it, it always feels right and I’m always experiencing happiness. This is the trust we need to implement in ourselves. It’s the self-trust, actually.

I’m reading a book actually called A Still, Small Voice by Echo Bodine. It’s all about how to awaken your intuition. I highly recommend it. Awesome. 

A Still, Small Voice by Benedict J. Groeschel

I know we’re getting close to time. Is there one little nugget you want to leave our listeners with before we finish that something that you haven’t shared already?

What I want to spread is just hope and orientation. From my point of view, we are in the midst of change and I know it’s tremendously painful and it’s chaos. A lot of people around the globe are losing almost everything they thought they need, they thought they would be. But from a higher perspective, we need that crisis right now as a gate to a true liberation to the true confirmation of what we truly are because as a natural process, it’s that pressure within.

If you just imagine a river and it doesn’t stop flowing just because we are identified with ego, so it’s getting more, and more, and more, but just under the radar of consciousness. In that moment, where this is what we are experiencing right now on Earth, that more and more people are aware of what they did with themselves and are in contact with the natural need of being authentic themselves.

We are struggling right now because there’s one side still very unconscious just doing the old stuff, like talking about penalties, and making more and more pressure, and being completely identified with ego. If you don’t do that, I will punish you blah-blah-blah-blah. On the other hand side, we are getting more and more waking up, coming back to our heart, to our true nature, which is love, which is empathy.

From my point of view, we are really on the right path. It’s a process, it needs time, it needs bravery. It needs your inner willingness and readiness to open yourself up, to leave the victim role, and to understand how it really works to be a human being, and to be responsible for your old wants, for your old things.

We need to heal the wounds. We cannot escape that. This is the invitation of life right now. My heart is telling me that we will make it and you are not faults, you are not guilty. You can just leave that fairy tale of guilt and shame and just start experiencing what you truly are.

There is a way out. You alone have the power to empower yourself. Reach out for help and let’s connect. Let’s support each other to learn to heal. This is very, very important and I think we’re going to make it.

Awesome. I think it’s a beautiful time to be alive right now. It’s through the challenges that we grow. How we become a diamond is being put under pressure. Without that pressure, we’re just a lump of coal. Listeners, get out there and shine like that crazy diamond. We’ll catch you on the next episode.

We need every single one of them.

Also, Kai, if you could also share your contact details to potentially work with you, if folks wanted to follow you on social media and learn from you, your website address, all that sort of stuff, where should we send them to?

You can find me on every well-known social channel like Twitter, Instagram, and so on just @kaischliebusch. You can find me on Google for sure. My website is kai-schliebusch.com. It’s just under maintenance right now. We also had to change everything because of Corona, but we now start setting up all the webinars and where you can take part.

You can also, whenever you need that and you feel that need to contact just to ask questions, I have every week on YouTube, on Wednesdays, starts at 7 Central Europe Time. My livestream, Empower Yourself is all about that. We’ll be happy to discuss and there’s coming much more about this will be shown and mentioned on the website as well. I’m very happy for the opportunity. Thank you so much for having me.

You’re quite welcome. 

All right. Thank you and thank you, listeners. Get out there, make it a wonderful week, and light up somebody’s life. We’ll catch you in the next episode. I’m your host, Stephan Spencer, signing off.

Important Links

Kai Schliebusch
Facebook – Kai Schliebusch
Instagram – Kai Schliebusch
LinkedIn – Kai Schliebusch
Twitter – Kai Schliebusch
A Still, Small Voice
Byron Katie – previous episode

Checklist of Actionable Takeaways


?My true Self is complete, and nothing is missing. Therefore, I don’t have to find or look for my true Self somewhere else.


?I am a pure being. I’m not my name. I’m not my stars. I’m not my birthday. I’m not my story, especially the story I have created myself, identified with the ego.


?Stop blaming and start taking responsibility. Blaming is avoidance. The more I play the blame game, the more I lose. Instead, be responsible for my own actions.


?Always question negative thoughts. Negative thoughts will take low blows at my confidence and point out what I think I lack. Instead of entertaining them, substitute them with questions that will boost my confidence and give me clarity.


?Live in the present moment. Don’t worry about what happened in the past, and don’t fear what will happen in the future.


?Be open to new ideas and perspectives. Keeping an open mind can help me grow as a person.


?Embrace every challenge as a gift. Facing challenges and navigating one’s way through them builds resilience capacity. Knowing that one can overcome obstacles, learn from struggles and benefit from mistakes lays a solid foundation for success later in life.


?Focus on solutions, not problems. This will give me back control over my life and resolve my troubles.


?Always be grateful. Gratitude will help me feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve my health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.


?Visit Kai Schliebusch’s website or connect with him on Twitter and Instagram to learn more from him. Also, watch his Livestream, Empower Yourself, on Youtube every Wednesdays at 7PM CET.

About Kai Schliebusch

As an uncompromising heart rebel and ambassador for the new era of arising consciousness, Kai is a loving guide through the next phase of human evolution. The practical experience and liberation of our true Self.

Kai only shares his own experience of his more than 20 years of holistic healing and his intense process of spiritual awakening. He´s guiding people worldwide (virtual/in person) on their path of inner growth, self-empowerment and through the process of self-realization. His teaching is the direct way to unconditional love, inner peace, freedom, meaning and happiness. The essence of who we are. Kai says:” Unconsciousness and ignorance are the real cause of our human suffering. But humanity is in the midst of change. I am here to build a bridge to everyone now. The time has come, when every human being on the planet has the right and the chance to wake up and to stop suffering forever. The truth is so simple!”

Disclaimer: The medical, fitness, psychological, mindset, lifestyle, and nutritional information provided on this website and through any materials, downloads, videos, webinars, podcasts, or emails is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical/fitness/nutritional advice, diagnoses, or treatment. Always seek the help of your physician, psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, certified trainer, or dietitian with any questions regarding starting any new programs or treatments, or stopping any current programs or treatments. This website is for information purposes only, and the creators and editors, including Stephan Spencer, accept no liability for any injury or illness arising out of the use of the material contained herein, and make no warranty, express or implied, with respect to the contents of this website and affiliated materials.

 

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