Hello, and welcome to Get Yourself Optimized! I’m your host, Stephan Spencer, and today, we have Danelle Magtibay. I’ve known Danelle for, let’s see, maybe four years now, and we’ve actually worked together. I had her as my spiritual coach-all right, so many people talk about, “Well, you should get a business coach,” or “You should get a life coach,” “What about a spiritual coach?” She came highly recommended from a friend who’s a fellow Tony Robbins platinum partner, and I have to say that Danelle is an amazing coach. She helped me take my life to new heights back in the 2011-2012 timeframe. Then I met the love of my life-my soulmate-Orion, and all these miracles just started happening in my life. It’s like I became unblocked, and I credit Danelle in part for making that happen.
Let me tell you about Danelle: She studied transformation, breakthrough, success strategies, Universal Laws, and Oneness for the past 25 years. She became a life coach and personal trainer in 1999, and is now one of the top personal coaching experts in her field. She’s also one of the few coaches in the world that has a complete Mind-Body-Spirit approach to Wholeness and Transformation. She specializes in maximizing human potential, and she works with top performance leaders, authors, world leaders, and managers-a diverse team of coaching clients that includes everyone from millionaire business people to single moms. Danelle, it’s great to have you on!
Thank you so much, Stephan, for inviting me.
Yeah, so let’s start by-if you could describe your META-METHOD and what that means because I think you have a pretty unique approach to how you integrate mind, body, and spirit. Let’s talk about that.
I know God is talking when the answer is simple. – Albert Einstein
Okay, that sounds good. The META-METHOD is something that I’ve developed over the last 25 years in my own personal quest for development and peace. I develop that with my coaching clients over the last 17 years. In the beginning, when I started this, I just wanted to be happy, and I thought I needed to control my environment to do so, so over the next 25 years-seeking, learning, practicing, and applying the things that I’ve learned, I discovered some really remarkable things, and that’s what I turn around and teach to my coaching clients. One of the most exciting things that I learned was, oneness-that we are all one thing, and that we are all connected, and when we simplify things like Einstein said, “I know God is talking when the answer is simple,” when we get down to the most fundamental elements, we are just energy-there is only one energy, there is one mind, one body, and it is expressing itself in an infinite number of ways.
That’s what the string theory now is showing you. We have one energy. It expresses itself in the form of Stephan, in the form of Danelle, in the form of money, and love, and health, and this is constantly working to support us. If I were to cut your hand with a knife, immediately, this force-this life force-would come in and start bringing you back into balance and healing you. That life force is always working to bring us into balance, to bring us love, abundance, peace, health, and happiness, and we’re working against it so what I did was, try to figure out what this life force was, how to get to know it better and develop my personal relationship with it, and then how to turn around and share that with other people.
After 13 years of my own personal study, I became a life coach like you said, and started bringing that out to others. I realized that they wanted the same thing, they want to be happy. However, we think we have to control our environment to do so, but, really, what people are seeking is, more of this energy-more vitality, more passion, more money – but, in the beginning, we just want to be happy so it’s my job to help people get them what they want. Somebody might come to me and say, “I need more money. I need a different job. I want a relationship. I need to improve my health,” whatever it is, but in reality, what they’re seeking is more energy, and the thing that stops them is also energy.
When I started coaching, I thought I’m just going to help people change their perspectives. I’m going to give them new mindset and a new way to think, and then I realized, it’s not the way that people think that really stops them-it’s the way that they feel. People aren’t afraid to fail-they’re afraid to feel like one. I really had to start teaching people about emotional energy, and that’s what stops that life force from coming to us. The mind is 90% unconscious-subconscious so if your 10% says, “I deserve love,” but your subconscious says, “I’m not good enough,” we will repel it. Everyone talks about the Law of Attraction, but no one tells you that there’s a Law of Repulsion” that goes right along with it so learning how to train your mind to think what you want is a big task.
In this culture, we think of what I call the “flabby brain” is normal-that we worry about things, and we think about things, and we don’t think we have any control over our thoughts, but in fact, we do. When we get control of our thinking in our belief systems then we’re able to control and navigate emotion. Emotion is, really, the thing that people struggle with the most. We try to avoid certain emotions and seek out a certain emotion, but the key is and what I help people discover is, what you’re avoiding is the answer. If subconsciously, you feel not good enough, you won’t go out and take the actions that are necessary to get you what you want because you’re too afraid to feel something that you don’t want to feel. I help people understand that emotional energy and that mental energy, and learn how to harness it and get it working for them, and then when your 90% is working for you, the whole universe comes to support you-and like you said in the introduction-all of the sudden, miracles start happening, things just pop out of the pavement, and your life starts to get better.
Yeah, so this Law of Repulsion-first of all, the Law of Attraction, which was popularized in the movie, The Secret, and the book with the same title is that, what you focus on is what you attract, and so the Law of Repulsion is what exactly? That what you focus on in a negative way is what you push away? Help me clarify that for me and my listeners.
Exactly! The Secret is a perfect example-ask, believe, and receive. “Ask” seems easy, and we ask with our 10% conscious mind, but if our subconscious mind, our 90%, mind still has limiting beliefs or conflicting beliefs, it, too, is manifesting, and the 90% is always going to win so you can pull things towards you-you can say with your 10% conscious mind, “This is what I want,” and then you take all the actions that are necessary to get that, but it will elude you no matter what you do. You make more money, and you’ll create a chaos to get rid of it; you want to create love, but you attract somebody that you don’t want; you want a great job, and you end up getting the boss from hell-that’s the Law of Repulsion. It’s like the opposite end of the magnet-no matter how hard you try to push something to stick to it, it won’t because your subconscious belief system is pushing it away from you.
Right, so your identity is such that, “I am somebody who just can’t hang on to money,” or “I’m somebody who just can’t seem to get lucky,” or “Get a person who is amazing,” or whatever, “I’m doomed to repeat the same psych,”-whatever sort of BS-belief systems-that are in your subconscious, you basically create that for yourself, and sabotage yourself instead of bringing in the abundance because only 10% or less of your mind-your conscious mind-is what is working on attracting the things that you want, but your subconscious doesn’t believe that this is possible or that you deserve it or that it’s just likely to happen so you end up sabotaging yourself subconsciously.
Exactly. One of my favorite quotes is by the psychologist, Carl Jung. He said, “What you fail to bring from your subconscious mind will later emerge as fate.” And what I have found is that most people fear this invisible wave of fate that’s going to come upon them and take away the things that they want, and they don’t realize there isn’t anything out there-you are the one that creates this.
Right. Tony Robbins says that, basically, life is not happening to us, it’s happening for us, and some people who have gone through great amounts of suffering will say, “That’s nonsense because I’ve had a life full of suffering, and this is not something that I asked for. It’s not something that I deserve. It’s just that I’ve been given a raw deal, and how is this fear-how is this something that is formulaic-doesn’t happen for me, and it happens to me?” so what would you tell a person like that?
Well, the first thing I’m going to say is that we don’t really know what’s going on-that judgment and the stories that we write is what makes us happy or unhappy, gives us a good experience of life, or a painful experience of life. Your computer-like brain captures information at the rate of 400 trillion bits per second, and the average person is aware of 2,000.
We don’t really know what’s going on. There’s a famous story about a boy in the woods, and he finds this horse. He brings the horse to his father, and the neighbors come rushing in and they say, “You’re a lucky man! That’s a valuable horse. That’s going to bring you good luck,” and the dad said, “Maybe.” The next day, the boy goes out, trains the horse, it bucks him off, and breaks both his legs, and then the neighbors come rushing in and they say, “That’s an unlucky horse. You better get rid of it. It’s going to bring you more bad luck,” and the dad said, “Maybe.” The next day, the Imperial Guard came to the village and took all the boys away for war, but they didn’t take his son because his legs were broken. So, my first question is going to be: What is your belief in the one or in the higher power? Lots of times people tell me they believe in God, but then they don’t believe that He knows what He’s doing, or that He makes mistakes, or that He’s going to make his children suffer for no reason, and I don’t understand that.
Right. This is interesting too as you talk about beliefs. I learned at Oneness University in India that God is not a belief, but an experience.
We get all these stories on to our higher power and yet, we don’t really experience God.
That’s right. I had an experience about five years into my study and so, for me, I started at the beginning. I went to seek out where did all this information come from so I started with ancient civilizations and moved my way forward the mythology, how that became the religions of the world, and all the different religions-Eastern philosophy, Western mysticism, psychology, physics, biology. I started studying all of these things, and I remember in a meditation one day, I started the meditation and I said in my mind, “I don’t even know what to call you anymore,” and what flashed through my head was a memory of my niece, Katie, when she was about a year-and-a- half old, and she and I were just bonded at the hip right from the very beginning. She lives down in Dallas, and her mom would drive or up to see me-to see me-and I was waiting for her at the airport, and she spotted me about a hundred yards away. She ripped away from her mom’s hand and started running towards me, and even now it moves me, my heart just overflowed with love for her. The small voice in my head said, “That’s me. That’s how you know me.” It’s not by a name. It’s not by words. Actually, the more words you try to put on it, the more you diminish it so I came to know one and God as the feeling of love as it overflows inside of me.
Mm-hmm, yeah. When I read The Tools-I actually never finished the book, but there are five tools and I got through to Tool #2, and that really shifted my whole life because Tool #2 is, you visualize filling yourself with love from the universe, and then you visualize somebody you’re in conflict with in front of you, you then visualize passing that love into this person in front of you, filling them up with love, and what it feels like to be receiving that from there end so you really try and make it as real as possible, and then you fill yourself back up with love so you’re not depleted-you haven’t given your love away, there’s always an infinite amount for you.
I did that with my aunt who I was in conflict with. I had not spoken to her in a couple decades, and yeah, it was amazing and shortly after that exercise, I called her and spoke to her for the first time in 20 years. We had a really nice conversation for about an hour and then a couple months later, she came and stayed with me for the weekend and met my kids for the first time-or several of my kids because some were out of town, but yeah, that was amazing. In fact, I just saw her in my most recent trip to Chicago just a few weeks ago. It’s amazing what you can unlock in terms of your energy, your love, and just your higher self-you best self-if you just allow the love that is surrounding us and throughout us to do what you are here for.
That’s right. That’s where the healing takes place. When we come from a place of love, forgiveness, and compassion, and we recognize that all of us have behaviors that we can’t control because of this subconscious-unconscious training over generations of teachings that have been faulty-teaching us that we’re separate. All of a sudden, all of that competition, all of that illusion of separation disappears. That’s what I learned over the 25 years-the greatest source of suffering is the illusion of separation. When you were able to fill yourself with love, it overflowed and you were able to love her, and in doing so, you loved yourself more. It’s the reciprocal force of the universe. When we give love, it automatically comes back to us. That’s also part of the law, right? So, when we’re talking about manifestation, everything is reciprocal. The four forces that hold the universe together: positive force, negative force, electromagnetism, and gravity-they’re all reciprocal so when we talk about manifestation, lots of times people are trying to take something from the universe or make it happen not realizing that if you give something to the universe, it will automatically give back to you. If you love, love will automatically come to you.
We are one thing, right?
Right. So, alone is an illusion-that we’re just this island suffering by ourselves is not real, but just a story that we made up.
Exactly. The Toltecs used to teach it as self-domestication. They would say that human beings are the only animals on the planet that domesticate themselves so when we’re young, our parents might say to us, “Don’t do that,” but what we fear as a child is, “Don’t be that,” and then we start to alter who we are to get love and acceptance, and then we go to school and they say, “If you be this, I’m going to give you a good grade,” and then we go out into the world and they say, “If you be this, I’m going to pay you more money,” and before you know it, we’ve lost ourselves. What we hear in that is, we’re not good enough, that we’re not good enough, that we’re separate, and that I’m in competition with you.
That you’re not going to accept me and you’re going to reject me. Those are the emotions that drive people to make choices taking them in the direction opposite of where they want to go, right? For me, that’s part of the META-Method, and why I think it’s so important. Everybody knows what they need to do. If you want a healthy body, you eat right and exercise and yet, less than 7% of the population doesn’t-why?
That’s a good question.
It doesn’t make sense, right? My joke with people is, “You come to me and you say you want to be a vegetarian while you have bacon hanging out of your mouth!” What is driving you to do that? The answer is, you’re avoiding feeling less than.
You’re avoiding feeling less than by doing self-destructive behaviors.
Exactly. I don’t want to try to be a success because what if I fail?
That was really a fascinating thing for me. I had a client on the East Coast about seven years ago, and she was living at home with her parents. She had a bad divorce so she took her two small children and moved in with her parents. Now, the children were grown and in college-one of them graduated from college-and she wanted to go out and start this business. I said, “What stops you from doing it?” and she said, in tears, “I’m afraid to fail.” “What will happen if you fail?” “I’ll have to come back and live with my parents.” The answer she gave me was, “I’m afraid to try because I might end up where I already am.” That doesn’t make any sense?
Right. It doesn’t make sense, but then if-so, I read this book, Provocative Hypnosis, which is a fascinating book about NLP or neuro-linguistic programming. There’s a story in there about this guy who’s suffering from fear of heights, and yet his job is to fix telephone line, and he has to climb up telephone poles all the time. How could he end up in that kind of a job with that kind of a fear is kind of beyond me, but in any event, he had the guy come into his practice-so he was a therapist, and he used NLP on his patients. He had the guy come in with all of his gear. He thought that, maybe, the guy wouldn’t even show up because he was letting on that the guy was actually going to climb up a telephone pole as part of his therapy session. They go outside, and he asks the guy to give him a scale of 1-10 on his level of fear and anxiety. He’s on the ground completely safe and hasn’t gone up the pole yet, but his anxiety level is 10. Two feet up the pole, anxiety level 10, and so forth. All the way up the pole, he’s asking for the number and on the way back down. Well, when he’s at the same height as he was at the first time of the pole when he asked him, “Are you on level 10?” -like, three-feet up or whatever it was-he asked him, “Well, what’s your anxiety level now?” and he said, “A one.” He’s like, “Okay, if you’re really afraid of heights, being three-feet up right now, you have an anxiety level of one, but at three-feet up five minutes ago, you were at anxiety level 10 so it’s not fear of heights because you’re at the exact same height.” We’re afraid of the future that’s probably never going to happen, but not afraid of the thing that we label as the thing we’re afraid of.
Exactly. It’s the story-it’s the story that we tell. When we were talking about the book that we’re working on, the title of the book right now is Storyteller because we write these stories in our minds-“I’m afraid of heights,” “I’m bad at math,” “I don’t like change,”-and yet, I play the lottery. That’s what I do for people. I reflect that back to them and say, “I don’t think it’s change that you’re afraid of.” Some people might say, “Well, I’m afraid of pain. I’m afraid of the pain that I’m going to have to go through,” but if I say, “Okay, I’m going to give you a million dollars, but I’m going to break your pinky first, are you going to let me?” 99 out of 100 are going to say yes so you’re not really afraid of pain. We just write these stories-those are the 2,000 bits of information out of 400 trillion-we we hang on to those and we call that reality. Part of what I do is, I help to create a different mindset. First, recognizing that where your attention is, it’s creating your perception and creating your reality. We hear that all the time, right? What you focus on, grows. Whether you’re paying attention to-if you focus your attention on, “I’m afraid I don’t have enough money,” then you’re not going to have enough money. Whereas, if you focus your attention on, “My money is growing. My money situation is getting better and better,” then that’s what will happen.
First of all, pay attention to where your attention is, and realize that what you focus on, not only grows but is also your perception, and that perception is wrapped up in judgment. We need to step back from that and say, “Is it true or is it not?”
Right. I love that-paying attention to attention, and where you are focusing that attention. That’s very META!
It makes a lot of sense. I had the story that I didn’t get enough love as a child, and it’s a story. We actually talked about this a long time ago. I released that story because it no longer served me. In reality, there are no true beliefs-they’re just empowering beliefs and disempowering beliefs-so that was a disempowering belief to have brought that into adulthood. A much more empowering belief and just as true, or more true actually, is that I was an exceptional child, and the hardships I went through, as a child, gave me incredible gifts that I still have to this day. If I were to reflect back on the pain I went through as a child-having an abusive grandfather-in reality, what happened from that was, I became much more mature and resilient because of that. I was able to get married at 19 years old and have my first child at 20 because I had this level of maturity that none of my peers my age had. I have three amazing daughters that I’m blessed with because I went through that hardship, and I wouldn’t change it for a thing.
That’s right. That’s such an important piece. I’m so happy you brought that up because lots of times people get stuck in the story of, “What happened to me yesterday?” not realizing that that is the springboard for your purpose. That is the reason why you went through the hardship. It was not to stay underneath it, but to grow from it, and as a result of that growth, now you go out and teach other people what you learned and how to do that.
But what defines the perfection of what happened to us in the past. If we hang on to our 2,000 bits of information and say that we know what it is, and we had to our judgment that says that was wrong, it closes the door to growth. However, if we can look back to see the perfection and recognize that that perfection is happening all the time and grow beyond it, now we’re hitting our dharma or our purpose, which is our place within the body of this One.If we can look back to see the perfection and recognize that that perfection is happening all the time and grow beyond it, now we’re hitting our dharma or our purpose. Click To Tweet
The interesting thing is, because we’ve been self-domesticated, we think your place within the body of the One is better than my place within the body of the One so I’m going to pretend to be what you are. What I call that is, you were born a heart cell, but you’re pretending to be a brain cell because you think you’re going to make more money or you think you’re going to be accepted instead of recognizing, “This is my perfect space within the body of humanity. Within the whole universe, there’s something I have to offer that nobody else has to offer.” When we put all our 2,000 bits of information together, statistically, if you do the math, we become the One Mind, which is what some people might call “God.”
Mm-hmm. We become envious of other people like the heart cell being envious of the brain cell, but we don’t fill in all the pieces in this picture so we’re just looking at the thing that we want and that we wish we had, we don’t look at the entire life that that person has-like, do we really want to switch roles with that person? Everything they have? If there’s somebody who’s more successful in their career than I am, do I want to swap everything-like the relationship they have, the body that they have, the health that they have, and all the trauma that they went thorough-do we want all that? Because it’s not just, “Oh, I picked this piece and then this piece from this other person and so forth.” If you think of it like, “I need to, basically, swap everything for that person, do I still feel envious now?” No, not so much.
That’s right. And, again, those were the stories that we write. You see someone driving in the Maserati and you think, “Oh, he’s very successful. He’s got a lot of money!” Maybe. Maybe he’s got that thing leased and he’s hacked up to his eyeballs, you know? I have one client who makes $100 million dollars a year and he didn’t have enough money to get his car out of the mechanic after the oil change.
It’s the lucky horse-or maybe, it’s unlucky, right?
That’s right. That’s okay-we pass those judgments. As far as the biology of it is concerned, it takes us 1/100th of a second to pass judgment on whether somebody is a good person and whether or not we should trust them. We automatically write the story because the conscious mind-the little 10%-its job is to pay attention, to find a pattern, and to put things into that pattern so we can understand them, but we need to rise up above that instinctual animalistic brain and start working from higher perspectives.
And there are lots of methods to do that-meditation is one of them. Mayo Clinic now has the SMART Program that helps people develop higher skill when they’re not able to meditate. We’re at this wonderful little space in time where we have so many tools available to us. All of us are learning, progressing, and growing at the same time, and if we can stop competing with each other and start supporting each other, this world would change on a dime.
We need to rise up above that instinctual animalistic brain and start working from higher perspectives.
Mm-hmm. Tell me about this program from Mayo Clinic about brains of sufferers versus non-sufferers. We’re talking about this before the episode start recording.
Yes. I come from a medical family-all Mayo Clinic. My brother’s a surgeon there, my sister is a nurse, that’s my mom worked there. My sister started working with the head of the integrative medicine department there, and his name is Dr. Sood. He is from India originally, and he became overwhelmed with all of the suffering that he was witnessing around him when he was a boy so he decided to devote his life to studying the brain and what causes suffering and how to alleviate suffering. He came to the United States thinking that people here in the Western world don’t suffer-we don’t have starvation, we don’t have war-that when he arrived here, he found that, yes, we do suffer here as well so he became fascinated now with what’s happening in the brain when we’re suffering. He stopped his medical study, went abroad, and started studying with different spiritual teachers and masters-the Dalai Lama was one of them.
The Dalai Lama told him, “Here in the East, we have external problems like war and starvation so to go inside to meditate is very comforting. In the Western world, they don’t have external problems, but they have internal problems so to ask them to go inside of themselves to meditate is not peaceful,” so Dr. Amit Sood developed this program that gives you the same benefit as meditation without meditating, and Mayo Clinic supported it and researched it. If you go to his website, you’ll see the clinical studies that they’ve done, and you can actually watch the lower portion of the brain shrink and the higher portion of your mind grow, and that’s exactly what we’re talking about here. It’s kind of fascinating. It’s a blended learning program, and statistically, the report of stress between 8-12 weeks of study drop significantly to a little over 48%.
Yeah, so it’s quite remarkable results. For me, as a life coach, if I can send somebody through a program that’s going to help them kind of restructure their brain and start thinking in more proactive way instead of what he calls the “default way,”-our brain is wired to look for certain patterns, and the very first pattern it looks for is threat. We want to make sure there’s nothing in this environment that’s going to kill us so we look for that threat. After we see there’s nothing there, the next program that it looks for-the next pattern it looks for-is pleasure. The third after that is novelty so, really, our brain is wired to make sure there’s nothing going to kill us, look for pleasure, and look for new ways of pleasure. However, we get stuck in the threat mode. We get stuck in the instinctual, “There’s something wrong/There’s something going wrong,” and we keep focusing on what’s going wrong instead of what’s going right. This program, just like meditation, helps you to take control of that so that you can, by choice, say, “No, it might be a lucky horse/it might be an unlucky horse-more than likely, it’s both.”
Mm-hmm. Well, there’s a saying that goe“Pain in inevitable, suffering is optional.”
And yet, there are people who are suffering like they can’t imagine life without suffering and that there is just a lot in life. What do you tell that person who is stuck in that mindset of suffering? Yeah, pain is going to happen-well, actually, Byron Katie, who I interviewed recently on this podcast, said that even the pain is optional-not only suffering is optional, but the pain itself. She’s done so much to heal and alleviate suffering for millions of people around the world with her books, her programs, teachings, and everything. It’s just amazing! But what would you say to somebody who’s stuck in that suffering mindset?
Our brain is wired to make sure there’s nothing going to kill us, look for pleasure, and look for new ways of pleasure.
Well, the first thing I would do is to start questioning and asking what kind of belief systems are in that 90% subconscious mind. Sometimes, we find pride in suffering. Sometimes, you’ll hear people say, “I am a survivor,” and then what they’re creating-because the universe responds to us-is something that they need to endure or survive so, again, it’s a rationalization of the brain. It’s called cognitive dissonance where we start to rationalize. If I have a subconscious belief that wealthy people do something bad to get their money, I’m going to say that I don’t want money. Money is not important to me. That’s a form of cognitive dissonance-they’re rationalizing so that they can perpetuate their behavior. We become addicted to certain kinds of emotions so I would first go towards the belief systems because that’s the mind portion-did your parents teach you that suffering was a good thing? Did your church, maybe, teach you that sacrifice and enduring pain for other people is a good thing, or makes you strong?
If that’s the case, then you’re going to continue to look for the suffering, right? The other side of that coin is the emotion piece. I’ve come to call my mental emotion energy “me motions”-those are my “me motions.” We have our mind in our brain pit against the heart. If you follow your heart, that’s dangerous-you’ve got to follow your mind and that’s where you’re safe. We have this opposition. But for me, I like to link them together so first, I would look for subconscious belief systems that you would like suffering or you think that suffering is a good thing, and then I would go to the emotion molecule, which they discovered back, I think, in the 80’s or 90’s. Dr. Candace Pert, a neurobiologist, found out that emotion is actually molecules. Every time we have an experience, we create a molecule, and on the molecule, there’s a chemical recipe.
Every time we see a similar situation, we create a duplicate of that molecule. If I slammed my hand in a purple door when I was a girl, every time I see a purple door, this memory is going to pop up, and I’m going to feel this feeling so it may just be that they’re stuck in that portion of their neural net, and they keep having the same memories over and over-like, when you were talking about your issue, Stephan, right? Nothing was actually happening in your present moment-all you were doing was remembering what you felt like as a boy. And then you were able to come in as an adult man and say, “No, that’s not the truth,” and integrate that inner child and rewrite your neural net so that you could choose the molecule that you want to feel.
Right, and when you have your identity wrapped up with this thing that doesn’t serve you-like, for example, “I’m a survivor,” and you make that part of your identity, nothing is a stronger force inside of you than to be congruent with your identity as Tony Robbins says so if that’s how you see yourself-you identify as a survivor, you are going to seek out opportunities to be a survivor and to suffer through a great deal of pain and trauma so that you can continue that identity.
That’s right, and that identity is driven by the ego, which will always separate you from the One.
Right. What do you do to keep that ego in check? Because I’ve learned in Kabbalah class that the ego and the five roots of the ego-like the hatred, the anger, the pride, and so forth-will keep you from connecting to the light, and yet we’re so much in those on judgment, of course-something we were just talking about a few minutes ago. Those are all aspects of the ego, and it’s really hard to turn down that ego and turn down the pride, the anger, the judgment, and all that. I mean, for me, judgment has been the hardest to tone down. It’s something I’m so good at, and I still am. It’s hard to keep that in check.
The ego doesn’t ever have an answer, and it only comes for us when we’re in a weakened state.
The judgment is automatic, which is why I like to bring up the wiring of our brain because it takes, literally, 1/100th of a second to pass that judgment. But then we do have the capacity to come back and say, “Isn’t it interesting that I went to that judgment? Where is that judgment rooted? Where did I learn it? Was it from a good source of information? What do I get from it? Is it the truth or is it my truth, and is it the truth that I want?” I have a lot of conversations with people about the ego, and lots of times, the teaching is to annihilate the ego. We don’t want to do away with any of our parts, right? That’s a piece of who we are. It helps us have our individual experience, but we don’t want to let the ego drive the car. We don’t want to let it make the decisions. I tell people that the ego, for me, is like the loud obnoxious guy at a party that’s standing on a table saying, “I’m right, and you are all wrong,” and the spirit is the quiet voice in the corner that says, “Yeah, and you disappear when you cover your eyes.” So you have to question that ego.
Every time you go to the ego and question it, it doesn’t have an answer. “I’m not good enough.” Not good enough for what? “I don’t know.” What’s going to happen? “I don’t know.” At what point will I be good enough? “I don’t know. Never?” The ego doesn’t ever have an answer, and it only comes for us when we’re in a weakened state. When you’re strong in spirit, ego will not push back on you because it knows, “It’s only Stephan. It’s not the soul that is eternal and that is just being now expressed in this moment as Stephan.” However, the ego doesn’t want to die so it keeps persuading us-we have to be special, we have to be different, we’re not like everybody else. It forces us to be separate because once we become one and integrated into the light, that ego loses control and it doesn’t want to.
When we are weak, we can be triggered to this non-resourceful state, and our ego kicks in and starts feeding us all sorts of lies so how do we stay strong then?
Again, the higher perspective, to say, “I might feel like the Earth is flat,” but I know that it’s round. I might feel like, “I’m not lovable,” but I know that’s impossible because people love me. Although to be able to roll it over and to complete that thought cycle is how we rewrite the neural net so the emotion is going to pop up with all the memories from your past that says, “No, you’re not worthy. You don’t deserve this,” but right here in the present moment is when we have the power to make that choice and say, “But that’s not the truth. It might feel that way sometimes, but I know that that’s not the truth. I only stand in the truth, I will not stand in a lie, and I will not stand in allusion.”
Right. One thing Abraham Hicks would talk about a lot is, we kick all this resistance in our path instead of just allowing it. We’ve created our own resistance. We could be just in the vortex, but we choose not to be.
Right. Because if we disappear, the one drop becomes the ocean. Now, we lose that individuality, which we label as “significance,” but for me, that’s the control piece. When I’m the one little drop that separate from the ocean, I might be able to control things or think that I’m controlling them, but when I know myself as the entire ocean, it’s when I become powerful. And the more we try to do all things, the more out of control we get so it’s making the choice to stand in the truth. A lot of times, those are the people that come to me. “I’ve read at every book,” but it’s still better because you have to apply those principles to your life. You have to actually choose. You can actually choose. You can make a decision-“I want a lean and healthy body,” but then after that, you have to make 10,000 decisions a day-“am I going to eat the salad or am I going to eat the cheesecake?”
Here’s the interesting thing: Fundamentally, the energy of the cheesecake is the same as the energy of the broccoli, but your belief system says, “The cheesecake is going to make me fat,” and so it does. That’s why I like to reduce everything down to its simplest form. If everything is one energy, I can’t be separate, and for me, that was a big piece. One of my childhood issues was feeling different or alone. I’m the youngest of six. All five children came in the world a year apart, and then I came four years after the fact to try and save the marriage, which is why I popped out of the womb trying to save the world, right? But for me, because I was four years younger than the youngest, I could never run as fast, and I could never be as smart. They all had their inside jokes and I wasn’t a part of it so, for me, it was a feeling of being alone. However, when I studied, which is part of what moved me so much was, I can’t be alone if I tried. I am connected to everything, and if I feel alone, it’s because of the story that I’m writing, and I can rewrite another story if I choose to.
Right, so essentially, the hardship that you had of being so separate and feeling alone and isolated from your siblings because of the age difference was an amazing gift and resource that allowed you to set up this amazing life path and change all these lives.
That’s right, and why in metaphysics-metaphysic is my approach to the physical world. These are the physical components we’re looking for like how to get a healthy body, great relationships, and a work that I love that makes me a lot of money. I applied those techniques that we use to exercise the body. The three components of exercise: strength, flexibility, and endurance. What I teach people is how to be mentally strong, mentally flexible, and be able to endure mentally. Emotionally strong, emotionally flexible, and able to endure emotionally because I believe it’s just a matter of practice. We can know the concepts, but then we have to lay the concept down and put it into action, and to me, that is an exercise. I have to exercise my mind to think what I want, and I have to do that every day. I have to practice navigating emotion so when that fear hits me, I’d be able to say, “That’s just energy, and I have labeled it as fear.”
Right, so let’s say you have some fear about money and you’re not in this place of abundance, your subconscious is essentially saying, “Money doesn’t stick around,” or “I just can’t manage to make enough of it,” and so whatever your conscious mind is saying about bringing the money, you just self-sabotage. What would be some exercises that you would give to somebody in relation to setting themselves up for a new pattern and a new rewiring of being a money magnet?
The very first thing is journaling. Being able to express how we feel takes energy out of the emotional lower portion of the brain and allows the higher brain to function more properly. Studies on athletes who choke and students who have test anxiety-if they’re given the opportunity to journal for five minutes prior to any event, their performance increases over 40%. Also, with the emotion molecule, putting words to your emotions and expressing those emotions helps to detoxify the body. Lots of times-again, all I’m doing is reflecting to people what’s going on in their minds. It sounds logical when you let it just ruminate, but when you put it down on paper, it sounds silly. Journaling, I think, is one of the most powerful tools that we can use.
Questioning yourself and asking yourself powerful questions like: Is that the truth? Where does that come from? If it’s not the truth, why do I continue to punish myself with it? Journaling about the big questions in life: Who am I? What am I doing here? Is that my truth? Does that make me feel good? Is that going to take me in the direction that I want to go? Because it’s about taking the action that’s necessary to move you in the direction of financial abundance. You need to hold your frequency-your heart-in a space that says, “I live in an abundant universe with an infinite supply of energy, and money is just energy so there’s an infinite supply of money around me and available to me.” If I hold on to that belief system and, at the same time, take the action that will move me towards my goal, inevitably, you will create the reality that you want.
Being able to express how we feel takes energy out of the emotional lower portion of the brain and allows the higher brain to function more properly.
Just match the frequency, put the action forward, and you have no choice but to create that reality.
Mm-hmm, yeah. I had a huge breakthrough in regards to money recently in a Kabbalah class where I learned that money is energy, and the size of the vessel doesn’t matter-the quality of the energy contained within that vessel is the same so a penny has the same quality of energy in it that a million dollars does-so if I am disrespecting the energy of a penny by stepping on it instead of picking it up when I see it on the sidewalk, by throwing a penny into the penny jar at the gas station instead of putting it in my pocket because I couldn’t be bothered with a penny-you know, if I get a quarterback in change, “Oh, I will keep that,” but if it’s a penny, “I don’t want that. That’s just garbage, right?”
So many people treat money like that because the amount of money is not worth their time or their attention, and yet they’re disrespecting the quality of the energy that’s contained, which is equal in quality to the million dollars or the one hundred million dollars. That was a big breakthrough for me. When I see money, it just doesn’t matter what denomination it is-if it’s on the ground, I will pick it up. I will not start throwing money into a penny jar-if I’m not going to put a quarter or a dollar in there, I’m not going to put a penny in there either. That really has been helpful to me.
One other piece that was really interesting for me was that, if the value that I place on certain denomination of money is less now than it was at an earlier time when I was making less money. In other words, it’s relative to what I making now. The value of what I see in $100 is not very much in comparison of how I valued it 10 years ago or 20 years ago. There’s something wrong there too-I’m not respecting the energy in the money so those were big breakthroughs for me, and I’ve kind of shifted my whole mindset around money and the energy of money because of that.
I love that. I never used to teach about money until I realized the power that it has to push people away from their value system. Everybody tells me, “Family is most important,” “Friends are most important,” and then proceed to tell me why they work 70 hours a week. Money is robbing us of the life that we value. I can even take it one step further for you and say that if there is only one energy then the energy of money is the same as the energy of love. And if there’s more money in your life, love more, and money will come to you.
Wow. That’s very profound.
People ask me about the manifestation when I say, for me, money is like water. I can turn on the faucet and the water will come. I don’t need to have refrigerators full of water.
If you want money to come to you, open your heart and love someone.
If you want money to come to you, open your heart and love someone, and while your heart is open, guess what? Love, money, health, and spirit will all come flowing back in.
Right. The more you give, the more you get.
Yes. Absolutely! That is the Law of the Universe. If you want something, give something. And it’s the law. It’s gravity. It will come back to you as long as you don’t repel it.
Well, thank you so much! This has been such an inspiring episode! How would somebody who would want to work with you get in touch?
Anybody who is interested in this information can go to www.metaphysic.net, and I have a contact sheet there. Feel free to email me, ask me questions, or just access the free information.
All right. Again, thank you so much, Danelle. This has been a great episode. I’m very grateful for you for spending the time with us today. I really missed working with you. It just brings back all these great memories of big breakthroughs that we made together. Actually, I was just looking at my to-do list, and one of the many items on my to-do list is, “Have another session with Danelle.”
Well, thank you, Stephan. Thank you for inviting me, and thank you for the wonderful work you’re doing. On behalf of the world, thank you.
Oh, thank you. Thank you, listeners, and we’ll catch you on the next episode. This is Stephan Spencer, signing off.
Checklist of Actionable Takeaways
Check in with your emotions before taking action-if you are in a negative situation, you can choose to respond from a positive space.
The mind is 90% unconscious-if your subconscious says, “I’m not good enough,” you will repel love and success. Learn how to train your mind to stop negative self-talk.
Go to www.metaphysic.net, and use the contact form to email Danelle. There. You can ask her questions, or just access the free information available on her website.
When you are able to fill yourself with love from others, you love yourself more, and then the reciprocal force of the universe happens. Give more love, and it will come back to you.
To work on changing your belief systems, consider where they came from. Once you’re aware of the origin, you can work on creating new beliefs.
Don’t make negative beliefs a part of your identity. If you identify as a “victim”, you are going to seek out opportunities to be a survivor and continue to suffer in that identity.
Check out the Mayo Clinic’s SMART Program which helps people develop higher meditation skills.
Disconnect from your ego and the negative emotions it can bring. If you think you are unlovable, think of all the friends and family that do love you.
Money is energy, and the size of the vessel doesn’t matter-a penny has the same quality of energy in it that a million dollars does. Value a dollar just as much as you would a $100 bill.
Don’t focus on what’s going wrong, instead keep your mindset on what’s going right, and what you can do to change the parts that need to be worked on.
About Danielle Magtibay
Danelle has studied transformation, breakthrough and success strategies, Universal Laws and Oneness for the past 25 years. She became a life coach and personal trainer in 1999 and is now one of the Top Personal Coaching Experts in her field. she is also one of the few coaches in the world that has a complete Mind-Body-Spirit approach to Wholeness and Transformation. She specializes in Maximizing Human Potential and works with top peak performance leaders, authors, world leaders and manages a diverse team of coaching clients that includes everyone from millionaire businessmen to single moms.
Disclaimer: The medical, fitness, psychological, mindset, lifestyle, and nutritional information provided on this website and through any materials, downloads, videos, webinars, podcasts, or emails is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical/fitness/nutritional advice, diagnoses, or treatment. Always seek the help of your physician, psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, certified trainer, or dietitian with any questions regarding starting any new programs or treatments, or stopping any current programs or treatments. This website is for information purposes only, and the creators and editors, including Stephan Spencer, accept no liability for any injury or illness arising out of the use of the material contained herein, and make no warranty, express or implied, with respect to the contents of this website and affiliated materials.
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