The Basics of Total Personal Transformation with Stephan Spencer

In this Episode

• [00:20]Stephan shares his inspiring transformational story on the Superhuman Academy podcast with Jonathan Levi.
• [03:19]Jonathan welcomes Stephan to his show and starts asking him to tell the listeners about himself.
• [09:03]How does Stephan feel about podcasting and having inspiring conversations with others?
• [14:35]Stephan recalls being told to attend a Tony Robbins event and describes how he underwent a physical transformation.
• [18:40]Stephan describes the moment he realized he needed to change himself.
• [25:01]Stephan describes how he sees God and how his intuition led him to give a remote Deeksha at an event.
• [31:21]Stephan gives advice to anyone who wants to broaden their experience or hasn’t yet experienced connectedness and serendipity.
• [38:43]How does Stephan guide others on their spiritual awakening? How has he perceived change?
• [43:31]Jonathan is curious how much Stephan has spent on personal development over the last ten years.
• [46:20]Stephan suggests attending a variety of events to achieve career and business epiphanies.
• [49:18]For online marketing and SEO content, visit Stephan’s website. Also, check out his Get Yourself Optimized podcast to learn more about personal growth and development and his Marketing Speak Podcast to learn more about marketing.
• [50:23]What is Stephan’s overarching message for you to remember?

Jump to Links and Resources

Mr. Stephan Spencer. How are you, my friend? 

I’m doing great. Thanks for having me. 

It’s really, really great to have you finally on the show. I know you and I have been friends for years. Because you and I have had so many heart-to-heart conversations, I didn’t realize until you pointed out to me we’ve never recorded one of them and shared them with the Superhuman Academy tribes. I’m really looking forward to sharing your story today. 

And I’m looking forward to sharing it, too. 

Stephan, I’m going to totally begin with the beginner’s mind here and pretend I don’t know your bio. I’d love for you to share with folks who you are today and we’ll go in a little bit about who you were before and we’ll draw that connection. 

I love seminars and mastermind workshops, anything that will help me grow, evolve, and elevate my consciousness.

Sure. I am an SEO expert, an Internet marketer, and a serial entrepreneur. I identify more as a spiritual seeker and somebody who is always working to improve myself and walk that personal development path. I love seminars and mastermind workshops, anything that will help me to grow, evolve, and to elevate my consciousness. 

Just a week ago, I did a virtual event that was called 5 Awakenings. It’s run by Ekam the Academy out of India. I just love this stuff. I had a spiritual awakening in India in 2012. Prior to that, I was agnostic, almost atheistic for my whole life, pretty much. Then I had this epiphany and everything’s been just a miracle upon a miracle after that. I guess that’s a little bit about me. 

Typically, when I explain who I am, it’s more from a career and business context. I’m a three-time O’Reilly author. The Art of SEO is the book I’m most known for, it’s 1000 pages. It’s all about how to get to the top of Google. I’m a co-author on that. I’m a co-author of Social eCommerce and an author of Google Power Search. I’ve worked with companies like Chanel, Sony, Zappos, CNBC, Bloomberg BusinessWeek, that sort of stuff. It’s so much more fun to talk about spirituality and personal development and how to grow and evolve. I hope we geek out on some of that stuff. 

Absolutely, and you are humble to a fault so if you hadn’t listed the client, I think it’s important. You can’t say this, but I can say this. You’re widely considered the top SEO expert in the world. At least I’ve heard many people call you that. You’re also a successful podcaster, you have multiple podcasts, not just in marketing and SEO, but also you have a personal development podcast that people should check out. I believe you renamed it to Get Yourself Optimized.

Yeah, it was called the Optimized Geek for the first four years and I’ve got some feedback from one of my coaches. Another thing is I get lots of coaching from different types of coaches and one of them told me that the Optimized Geek would probably turn off some of my audience because they don’t identify as geeks and my podcast is about self-improvement, so anybody and everybody could benefit from it. I don’t want just the folks who think, oh, yeah, I’m a geek too. That’s why I changed the name about a year-and-a-half ago. 

Absolutely, and an incredible podcast it is. You had some really fascinating people, some of our most interesting guests on the show. I have actually come from recommendations from you and I know you had some of the greats like Tim Ferriss on your show as well. When you say you’re a seeker, you’re a seeker both in your personal and professional life. 

I love the idea of having a powerful conversation with somebody who is a luminary. You’ll reveal some light and make a difference for some people.

Yeah, and I tell you it’s amazing to be able to start a conversation with somebody who’s huge like Byron Katie or somebody like that, with the purpose of getting them on my podcast instead of just trying to start a conversation. I hate hearing this—I hear it all the time—can I buy you a cup of coffee or can I pick your brain for a minute? Oh, that drives me nuts. It’s like fingernails on a chalkboard. Yes, you want to steal my juice? Okay, fine. Well, I don’t really agree with doing it usually. 

The idea of having a powerful conversation with somebody who is a luminary and it’s under the context of it’s a podcast episode and you’re going to reveal some light in this episode (I’m sure) and make a difference for some people. I love it. I’m really passionate about podcasting. 

That is definitely going to be the part that I miss as we wind this podcast down, but I’m looking forward as my interests have grown and changed and I’ve had the opportunity to meet so many of the people in the personal development space. I’m looking forward to—maybe and I haven’t announced this on the podcast yet—doing another show in another similar but different field where I’ll be able to leverage that same advantage. 

I was really surprised to hear that you’re going to shut the podcast down. What got me thinking about what the future might hold for this podcast is, I learned this thing from Tony Robbins, it’s called ask a better question and you get a better answer. Unleash the Power Within was the first event that I went to of his in 2009 and that’s where I learned the story. He was describing how he went to a car dealership looking at a Bentley or Rolls-Royce, I forget which. It was Corniche that he was looking at and he found out the price, he was like oh, no, never mind. I don’t want it. 

The salesperson was a big fan of Tony and he said, you know what? Take the car. I want you to just enjoy it for the weekend. I know you’re not going to buy it. This is not a trick. I just want to thank you for changing my life. Have it for an extended weekend, for three days, and put as many miles on it as you want. It’s my gift to you. 

He’s like, well, you understand I’m not going to buy the car. I totally get it. He borrowed the car. He took it on for the weekend and then he brought it back. His wife at the time was saying, don’t you dare buy that car. He said I’m not going to buy it. I’m not going to buy it. On the way back—it was a long drive back to the dealership—he was thinking, if I ask a better question, I’ll get a better answer. How about instead of can I afford this car or should I buy this car? How can I get this car for free? 

By the time he got to the dealership, he got the car for free. The way he did it was he called QVC, who had been trying to get him to do a show, infomercial, or something for ages. He called them back and said, all right. I’m thinking I’ll do the deal, but you gotta throw in something else. I want you to buy me a Corniche.

It ended up being a two-year lease. Every two years it would get renewed as long as they continue to work together. Of course, he was on QVC for many years, so every two years he got a new corniche for that whole time. It was just because he asked a better question, he got a better answer. 

Here’s a better question rather than how do I make time in my life by closing off the podcast or how do I shut this down gracefully? How can I get this podcast to have a life of its own even though I step away from it and I don’t have to have the involvement?

I don’t know what the answer is. Maybe there’s another podcaster that you could bring in to host the show, but ask a better question about the podcast and you might find that you get some new ideas about what to do with it so you don’t have to just shut it down. Just a thought. 

It’s a good thought. The question that I’m asking really is what do I want to be doing and what do I want to be pouring my passion, attention, and platform into? You’re a perfect candidate so I’m not going to spoil the surprise on the air, but I’ll tell you after. You’re a perfect candidate for the podcast that I want to do. We’ll maybe touch on the angle a little bit in the future or later on in the conversation. 

You can't change anybody, but you can change the field around you just by changing yourself. Click To Tweet

What I really want to ask is I’d love for you to describe how you ended up on this personal development journey because I didn’t know you back then. This was many years ago and you’ve been on this scene and on this path for the better part of a decade, if not more than a decade. I didn’t know you back then, but who were you then? What was going on in your life that attracted you towards that first UPW seminar or that first personal development book? As I remember, you were a very successful entrepreneur before as well. 

What is that phrase? A dark night of the soul, something like that? That was basically what happened to me in 2009 and I felt really lost. Some friends, peers, and acquaintances told me that I should go to a Tony Robbins event. Three different people within a couple of weeks who didn’t know each other told me to go to this Unleash the Power Within event. I was in Madison, Wisconsin at the time. It was in Chicago so I could drive 3 hours to get there. 

I thought that’s kind of uncanny that three different people within a very short time frame would tell me to go to this event. I was going through a divorce. I was unhappy. I just was kind of lost and I needed a kick in the butt. Thankfully, those folks made that recommendation because it changed my life. 

If you look at my getyourselfoptimized.com website, there’s an about page with a before and after photo. It’s pretty shocking. To see what I used to look like in 2009, and previous to just a year later, ten months later, I was unrecognizable. It was really fun actually going to conferences because I spoke at a lot of Internet and SEO conferences, and nobody recognized me. 

I was walking into a group of people who I knew. There were 8 or 10 of them, and nobody knew who I was until minutes into it and they noticed my badge. Oh, my god, it’s Stephan Spencer. What? Yeah, pretty funny.

The thing is the physical transformation that happened. You’re probably wondering, what was it that made me unrecognizable? Did I lose 200 pounds or something? No, I hardly lost any weight. I changed my diet and I started exercising. I got Lasik, so I didn’t need glasses anymore. I got braces and got those off by that time. 

I also had a hair transplant, which I don’t often talk about, but it definitely made a difference. Nobody thinks that it’s not natural. It’s my hair. It just moved from one part of my head to another, but that transformed my look. Later on, I got rid of the goatee, which was prematurely aging me. I looked a lot older. 

All that combined made me look probably ten years older than I was and maybe 15 even. Then I just was more vital and vibrant because I got through this Tony Robbins event and then did another one. He’s all about changing your state. I took that to heart. I changed my physiology. I showed up more powerfully and more vitally. I just seemed younger. So that was pretty cool. 

In fact, I still get this thing where people haven’t seen me for a couple of years, and will say, Stephan, how do you do this? You keep looking younger every time I see you. This is well past that big transformation in 2010, so that’s pretty cool. I don’t get tired of hearing that. 

Exactly, and you’ve gone really deep into the biohacking space as well. I know you’ve done 40 Years of Zen with Dave Asprey. You’ve done all kinds of stem cell work, but that’s maybe putting the cart before the horse. Take me through, okay, you do that first seminar. I’m going to ask you a question that your wife actually, Orion, asked me on a podcast and I liked it so much that I often ask people the same question, which is what changed within you that made all that happen? 

I knew that I needed to make a change. Then a couple of years later, I was at a Tony Robbins event. It was a Platinum Partner trip because I did the whole high ticket good thing with him. I was a platinum partner, we went on these exotic trips. 

The one that really changed my life, even more than UPW that first time and I look completely different and so forth, is I am a different person internally because of this one event in 2012 where I had a spiritual awakening. It was in India. Udaipur was the city that we were in. It was a beautiful palace on the water. 

This oneness monk touched me on the head. It’s called a Deeksha, a oneness blessing. When he did this, I felt like I had been plugged into the electrical grid too, like the fabric of creation. I just couldn’t fathom it. I don’t know what drugs are like because I’ve never done even marijuana, but it must have been like an LSD trip or something. All he did was he touched me on the head.

I went outside. A few minutes afterwards, I was so blissed out. I felt all this peace, connection, and connectedness. I just remember everything being this technicolor, bright green, like in a cartoon. The grass, the trees, everything was just really brilliant cartoonish green that I’d never seen before. I just felt so much peace and I was so grateful. 

That day I experienced God, everything shifted.

I had been awakened and I didn’t know that this was even possible. I went to the monks afterward and asked them a bit more about it and the explanation was that God or the divine is an experience, not a belief. It’s not about believing in God, it’s about experiencing God. That day I experienced God and everything shifted. 

Two months later, I was at another event, it was called Date with Destiny. That’s where Orion, my wife, was. I had not met her yet, but I prayed for her. I wrote a relationship vision on this big poster board. That’s what I prayed for in that relationship, those attributes of my soulmate, and that I would be the kind of guy in that relationship vision because it’s as much about who I am as it is about her and what kind of relationship we build together, and it happened. 

Twelve hours after I prayed for her, she was introduced to me by a mutual friend. Eighteen hours after that, I said I love you to her which is really ironic considering one of the masterminds I was in was The Society, which is a secret society run by Niel Strauss, the famous pickup artist that wrote the book The Game, and I knew a lot of pickups. 

Not that I was super successful at it, but I was 100 times more successful at meeting women than I was previously, especially if you look at the before photos, that guy could never get a date. I was married for most of my adult life, but after the divorce or after the separation, I didn’t have a single date for 2½ years. 

Oh my gosh. 

Be less skeptical and practice the willing suspension of disbelief. Click To Tweet

That was quite a dry spell. I learned to pick up. I learned how to be confident and all that and yet all of that melted away. It wasn’t about that. It was just trusting in the Creator, trusting in divine timing, and that everything is just going to be okay and just surrender to it. That’s how we met. I’m so grateful. It gives me goosebumps every time I tell this story. 

Eighteen hours after we met, I said I love you to her, but the thing is I knew five minutes after meeting her that she was the one, that she was my soulmate. The reason why is because, in India, I had learned how to give Deeksha myself the oneness blessing.

At Date With Destiny, on the last night, they do a big oneness blessing, where the blessing givers who have been trained (like myself) would go from person to person. The lights would be low and beautiful music playing and so forth, and we would bless people. There weren’t as many blessing givers as needed to cover 5000 people or whatever was in the room so not everybody got touched and she didn’t get touched. 

The more you pray for the person, the more divine grace passes through you to that person.

When she mentioned that to me—I just met her a few minutes earlier—I was like, I can do that. I learned how to do that in India. Would you like me to give you a Deeksha? The thing about a Deeksha is the more you pray for the person, the more divine grace passes through you to that person. I was praying for her like she was my soulmate and we had just met, so I knew. 

Now I have to ask, after all this experience, you and I have talked about spirituality and about energies and things like that. Do you believe in one conscious sentient being, kind of in the traditional Abrahamic sense of a God? Or do you believe in a force without a name? Maybe elucidate your beliefs after having had this experience. 

I think we see an experience of God, or the Creator, or universal intelligence, whatever, is the most comfortable way of seeing or experiencing God in different ways. If you believe that God is a punishing God or a strict God, that’s how you are going to experience God. If you believe God is a forgiving and wonderful, just omnipotent, but just very accessible God, that’s how you’re going to experience God. 

Universal intelligence, the Creator, the Divine God, to me, it’s all the same. It’s just whether you experience it as intuition or a voice, or you personify that as however you want to experience God, Allah, Jesus, Jehovah, Yahweh, however. It’s all different paths to the same destination. We’re all connected. Once I plugged in, then I got to experience that in so many different ways, things that you would think, no, that didn’t happen.

For example, I was at another event, not a Tony event. It was a Donny Epstein event in early 2013. He’s an energy healer. He was a guest on my Get Yourself Optimized podcast. He’s such an amazing guy and a real wizard. Just an incredible, incredible person.

I was at his event called Ultimatum. We were getting entrainments by him, these energy healings. I was (again) kind of blissed out in this other realm. I had just been to India a few months earlier, and I met Orion by this time, a few weeks prior.

I had this intuition or this kind of message that I could give, a remote Deeksha, like a oneness blessing. The person doesn’t have to be in my vicinity. I don’t have to put my hands on their head. I was blissed out laying on the floor after getting entertainment, so I just started blessing all these people.

Random people came to me, people I hadn’t heard from or thought of for years. There was this one guy that used to work for me and I had fired him because he was talking smack about me behind my back to other staff. I was immature at the time and took it personally. I decided to make an example of him and fired him on the spot.

He filed a frivolous lawsuit for wrongful dismissal. It was cheaper just to pay him off rather than to fight and win the lawsuit, so I did. He disappeared from my life. Hadn’t heard his name for 15 years. He came to my mind, so I blessed him. I prayed for him when I was at this event. Guess who called me out of the blue four days later on my cell phone to apologize after 15 years.

No way. You can’t make that stuff up. You really can’t.

No. It’s just par for the course. It is so normal now. I’ll tell you what else happened in that conversation that I had with him. I told him you didn’t need to apologize, I got all of these benefits from that situation, that experience.

I read contracts so much better and it saved my bacon so many times. I have instituted better hiring and disciplinary practices. I believe in giving people lots of chances. Progressive discipline was something that I’ve incorporated into my practices as an employer now, and that came out of it. So I said, you don’t have to apologize. It’s all good.

Skepticism is just a very fine line to its evil twin - cynicism. Click To Tweet

He was really touched when I told him that. I just prayed for him. He just felt this drive to connect with me and to clear that. I told him about some of the events that I’d gone to and things like that. I ended up loaning him some relationship DVDs because he was going through some relationship issues. I think that helped him.

Three months later, I happened to see him at a PetSmart. I was shopping with one of my daughters. We were in the same city for only 300,000 people in that city in Madison. For years and years, I had never bumped into him, and then finally I started bumping into him after we cleared this thing. It sounds pretty cool.

It’s really funny to me because you had mentioned before, however people perceive this instance of a God, but I find the same is true with this. Call it serendipity, call it the secret, and some people call it coincidence, but I feel the same way.

Yeah, law of attraction.

Exactly, law of attraction. At different points in my life, I’ve been more connected to it. I also met my wife, Limmor, who you know, through a very similar process of literally calling her in and praying that I would find her.

At times in my life, I’ve become less connected. Right now, I certainly feel less connected to that energy, that oneness, that ability to manifest things. What advice would you have for someone who wants to increase their connection to this sense or this ability?

That’s a very important question. Until you experience it, you’re essentially asking somebody to have desire for a certain kind of fruit or dessert that they’ve never tried before, that’s very foreign to them and have no understanding of it, like some Indian dessert you’ve never tried before, never even heard of, and I describe it to you, does your mouth water? No, probably not. Are you really desiring that dessert? Probably not, because it’s just not part of your consciousness and your experiences.

I guess the best advice I can give for somebody who has not experienced that connectedness, that serendipity, and can’t connect the dots is that that is actually the Creator at work, then go to an event where there is some sort of opportunity for spiritual awakening. Like O&O Academy is in India. They have amazing events’ course. It’s all social distancing now, so they’re doing Zoom-based events. That, I would highly recommend.

God or the divine is an experience, not a belief. It's not about believing in God; it's about experiencing God. Click To Tweet

Another really wonderful spiritual practice is Kabbalah. I started taking Kabbalah classes from the Kabbalah Centre in LA, and that was amazing. That has been as powerful as anything. I keep talking about oneness in India, but what I’ve learned in Kabbalah has taken me to a whole other level.

If I start feeling disconnected, I know what it’s like to be connected. I know I can get there again. I can get there very quickly. I just need to maybe do the Ana b’Koach prayer or I need to go to a Kabbalah class. You can do them virtually, the Kabbalah You. You can sign up for it. It’s just a small monthly fee, and then you can binge on all their different classes. I’d start with Kabbalah one.

It’s the most amazing ancient self-help movement. It’s so cool just learning about how energy works. Money is energy and the proactive formula. There are just so many cool things. I’ve had three different episodes with three different Kabbalah teachers on Get Yourself Optimized, so I highly recommend those as a starting point. Just start on that path. 

If it’s not Kabbalah, if it’s not oneness, or O&O Academy that resonates with you, there are just lots of other things that you can look into. The transcendental meditation or Buddhism, Thich Nhat Hanh, the Buddhist monk who wrote some amazing books. It’s pretty easy once you’re open to it. If you are a skeptic.

Once you get down the rabbit hole?

If you are locked into skepticism, it will close off many miracles and wondrous goodness in the world.

Once you get curious, then it becomes a lot easier. But if you are locked into skepticism, I’ll tell you, I was a skeptic and that closed me off to a lot of miracles and a lot of wondrous goodness in the world and in the universe. Now I realized that skepticism is just a very fine line to the evil twin of that, which is cynicism.

Who wants to be a cynic? Certainly, I would imagine not the person listening at the other end of this episode. If you identify as a skeptic, that is just the other side of the coin to cynicism.

I wouldn’t identify as a skeptic. I would instead think of this as I’m going to try something new, and it’s the willing suspension of disbelief that I’m going to tap into. The willing suspension of disbelief, and then so much becomes possible in your world. It’s really cool.

I also fundamentally believe that anyone at any time can have these experiences and that they’re transformative. You’ve also, I think, been to Burning Man and Burning Man-like events, if I’m not mistaken.

No, I haven’t been to Burning Man. Actually, I don’t think I’ve been anything that is even remotely like Burning Man. I haven’t been to Coachella or anything like that. I’ve heard from folks what the experience is like, it sounds pretty cool.

Right. I used to always joke and say that there was something. I studied sociology, and I did my thesis on liminality and communitas. Communitas is a fancy word sociologists use for a bonding experience, a sense of bonding that people have when they go through some kind of transformative event together. What you experienced, probably with some of your peers in your first UPW program.

I always used to say, I think if you brought the most aggressive, angry, unenlightened person, I guess it would be—there’s a slang word in Hebrew that I won’t share that describes people who are just not tuned in, not enlightened, and go through the world very angry—if you brought that person to this event, I imagine that they would immediately change their tune from trying to take advantage of people or trying to stir fights.

They would have this experience because of the energy here, because of the connection and the oneness. Lo and behold, I had an experience where I was in the midst of a bad trip, and happened upon two guys who were dressed, looked, and spoke in such a way that indicated to me that they were not represented by the average at this event.

They took care of me for the majority of an hour. They made sure that I had water. They were just so kind, loving, and compassionate with me. I took this opportunity and I said, is this your first event? They said, if you told me a week ago that I would be here doing this, I would have laughed at you, I would have maybe punched you. But here I am, and there’s something special about this place.

To anyone who identifies as a cynic or a skeptic, know that you are really one transformative experience, community, or interaction away from really believing that there is real life magic in this world.

Yeah. The thing is, if you are on the other side of this, and you know somebody who really needs an awakening, and, oh, my goodness, if only I could grab this person and drag them to this event, that’s not how it works. They’re ready when they’re ready.

The best thing you can do is model the behavior that you are looking to inspire in them. Because trying to teach it to them, you come back from an event all inspired and you just want to dump all this new knowledge and insight. You can’t do it. They’re not ready for it.

Be the change you want to see in the world. – Mahatma Gandhi

Their vessel isn’t big enough yet for it. But you can model the behaviors that they will start seeing you show up differently. You can’t change anybody, but I’ll tell you, you can change the field around you just by changing yourself. Be the change you want to see in the world, that famous Gandhi quote. By doing that, you change the field around you and anybody in that field can’t help but change. They are affected by you.

I have three adult daughters and I took them all to an Unleash The Power Within. They did the fire walk on the 2000 degree hot coals, but it didn’t stick. As soon as they got back to their mom who was very anti-Tony Robbins, only one of them wanted to go to any other events. My oldest was the one who went to Date With Destiny. That didn’t really stick either, because the desire wasn’t within her.

It’s not like you can be the power plant for the person. The desire has to come from them, and that is the power plant, that’s the energy source, the fuel that makes anything possible. If you have a desire to create a business, to invent a product, to have a spiritual awakening or whatever, that’s what gets you there. It’s the desire. It’s the fuel that runs the engine.

If you don’t have desire, you’re not going to have it. If you don’t have a desire for that strange Indian dessert that you’d never heard of, you’re not going to seek it out. You’re not going to get it.

Pray for more desire and more certainty while you’re at it.

One thing I learned that was really powerful from my past Kabbalah teachers was to pray for more desire and pray for more certainty while you’re at it. Those two things will get you through a lot. Rather than pray for the end result that you’re after, which is kind of wishing to a genie that I get three wishes, no, that’s not how it works. If you want the thing, then you need the desire to manifest it. If you don’t have the desire, pray for the desire.

Absolutely. I also want to point out, my wife and I have a rule in our marriage, which is only push for change that’s expressly welcomed. But once that change is welcomed, push for it. I want to point out, your whole transformation started because of three people who said, hey, you should really check this out.

I think a lot of times, we try not to step on people’s toes and try not to tell people what they should do. But at the same time, if that person hadn’t made that recommendation to you, same with me and my marriage. Three different people told me to read a book, Calling in “The One,” which ended up bringing me to my marriage.

I think it’s important not to step on people’s toes if they’re not ready, if they’re not welcoming the change, and as you said, their vessel is not ready to hold it. But also, don’t hold back. If you see something that can help someone and you feel they’re ready for it, tell them, hey, I picked you up a copy of this book or, hey, there’s an event going on in Chicago next week. I really think you should be there because you might just change someone’s life.

I have so many stories over the last 20 years of someone saying, hey, have you ever heard of Eckhart Tolle by any chance? You might want to check him out. Complete life transformation and so many others.

And if you’re sharing your story and your experience without trying to lecture or proselytize to them, they’re going to be a lot more receptive. You’re not trying to inject your own belief systems or values on somebody else. You’re just trying to share an experience with them that might be helpful, might open a door. You’re essentially advocating for that person.

Stephan, do you have any idea how much you’ve invested in your own personal growth over the last (say) 10 years?

I would guess, at least half a million dollars, maybe a million. I’ve gotten the ROI out of that, by far. I did three years of Platinum Partnership—that was a Tony Robbins thing. I got a lot of skepticism, but people are not that keen on Tony Robbins, and that’s totally fine.

I’ll get pushback. Like, what? You spent that much money? That was probably well into the six figures. I won’t get specific, but it was well into the six figures. I got just in direct client revenue, $450,000, I would say, because of being in Platinum Partnership.

It’s priceless to have your soulmate and your connection with the Creator because of that serendipity. Be open and trust.

It’s much more than paid for itself, but then, I found my wife through it. Because if I hadn’t been a Platinum Partner, I wouldn’t have gone to India. I wouldn’t have that spiritual awakening. Then I wouldn’t have been at Date With Destiny in one of the front rows where a mutual friend who introduced the two of us who was also a Platinum Partner, I wouldn’t have known him, and he wouldn’t have been able to introduce me to Orion.

It’s a hundred million times ROI. I just thought it’s priceless to have your soulmate, to have your connection with the Creator have happened because of that serendipity. I’m not saying you have to sign up for Tony Robbins or for any other particular event, but be open and trust. Trust that life is happening for you, not to you.

Absolutely. I would love to hear, though, what are the things that you find yourself most recommending to other seekers? Every time I talk to you, you’ve done three different new seminars, courses, programs, or memberships. You’ve really tried again probably more than anyone I know, besides perhaps our mutual friend, Joe Polish. I would love to know, what are the things that stand out to you that you find yourself time and time again recommending that people should check out?

It depends on what their needs are. Let’s say it’s business-related. Let’s say they need some epiphany in their career or in their business life, I probably recommend Strategic Coach, Genius Network. There are just so many different events that I’ve gone to in masterminds, SuperFastBusiness and Silver Circle. You might want to try War Room.

I went to one War Room event. It was cool. I didn’t end up joining, but I love Genius Network. It’s just a great group of people that’s run by Joe Polish when we’re both in that group. Those are just off the top of my head, a few different kinds of masterminds and groups.

If you want to be more productive, accountable, and intentional, get a productivity or personal development coach.

I highly recommend getting a coach because that will help keep you accountable and help guide you specifically. If you’re looking for better sales processes and skills, get a sales coach. If you’re looking to be more productive, more accountable, more intentional, get a productivity coach or a personal development type of coach. If you’re looking for spiritual epiphanies, get a coach like a Kabbalah teacher-type coach.

Masterminds, I’ve done I don’t know how many, at least a dozen of them. I mentioned a few of them, Platinum Partnership, Genius Network, and so forth. There’s also The Society, of course, that I mentioned. That was really not about pickup so much. It’s still going. Neil Strauss still runs it.

It’s about personal development. It’s about having big breakthroughs in your life and slaying your dragons, your inner demons. It’s really good. I could probably rattle off dozens and dozens, but those are just some of the ones that come to mind just initially here.

It’s about having big breakthroughs in your life and slaying your dragons– your inner demons.

Fantastic. Stephan, I know we’re coming up on time here. I do want to give you the opportunity to let people know, where can they reach out, learn more, get in contact, download your podcasts? Where should we send folks?

stephanspencer.com is my main website that has lots of great content about online marketing and SEO. If you’re keen to explore the whole personal development angle, getyourselfoptimized.com. It has the podcast. There’s information there about getting coaching with me.

There’s also my other podcast, Marketing Speak, so that’s marketingspeak.com, which is all about primarily online marketing. I’ve had some of the real legends of marketing like Seth Godin and Jay Abraham, Dan Kennedy, on the show. That’s like a mini university education on online marketing. I highly recommend it.

Awesome. I do want to thank you, Stephan. But before I completely let you go, I want to ask you the question I always ask every guest on the show, which is, if there’s one big message people should take away from this episode and carry with them for the rest of their lives, what would you hope for that to be?

Just to be less skeptical and practice the willing suspension of disbelief.

Life is happening for you, not to you. Click To Tweet

That’s a fantastic message to end on. Stephan, my friend, thank you for coming on the show. It’s been an absolute pleasure. It’s always a pleasure to connect. I hope we can get together face to face soon with all this craziness.

I hope so, too. You’ve been such a great friend. I don’t normally hear guys tell other guys that I love you. It’s like, I love you bro, love you mate or buddy, or whatever. They always got to put something at the end. But Jonathan, you are an amazing person, and I love you. You are a bright light in my life, so thank you.

I love you too, Stephan. Thank you. I really appreciate that.

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